--Winding down--

I can't believe it's the second last day of April. For me, time in general always seems to pass very quickly, but at the same time, events a couple months ago feel like years ago, especially when a lot of events and activities are crammed into them. This month of April has been very busy for me. I am looking foward to getting back to Waterloo, though I'm going to miss Amanda, and Annie and Roger. I am getting excited about next year's committee, and how God will work through us to drive the fellowship. After two meetings, the roles have been decided, and I will be serving as the communications person. It is actually kind of cool how this came to be. Let me explain.

When I was initially reading about the various roles and praying about them, I thought that vice-chair was the best role for me. It is a role that drives evangelism and outreach in CCF, which is my highest agenda for the fellowship. I couldn't really see myself in any other role, though I was open to most of them. I knew that program co-ordinator wasn't for me, because I really get hung up on details, and I knew that the position would stress me out to the max. Besides, I don't believe I am creative enough to innovate new ideas for Friday night. I never even really thought about communications because I figured that I "had too much vision for a role like that" (the words of my own thoughts). In the aftermath of Sunday night, when I was working on Monday and thinking about our deliberations about chair, I felt God speak to me. Since both people running for chair were also passionate about outreach, it would not be as crucial for vice-chair to hold the chair accountable on that issue. My thinking is also not complementary, but rather mostly the same as that of the chair. I suddenly felt a prompting towards communications. Still, I said to myself, "But I have more vision to offer than that!" Then it occured to me, and I'm sure that God must have been smiling and nodding, saying to Himself, "Now she finally understands..." As Sam and Eric both said, the committee is made up of seven equals, each who bring a piece of vision to the table. Just because I am in a different doesn't mean I have any less say in the vision. I really enjoy and am not intimidated of speaking to people. I like passing on ideas and getting people pumped up about an idea. I truly believe that how involved the whole fellowship is involved in the vision is directly proportional to the health of the fellowship and its members. I also have the admin experience that goes along with the job. Being in this position will also allow me to help drive another thing that is close to my heart, and that's making CCF seen on campus, as well as dissolving some of the myths that surround it (ie: CCF is ONLY for Chinese people). Yes, Chinese is part of the title, and it is obvious that the large majority of the fellowship will remain Chinese, and rightly so. There is comfort and stability in common background and cultural community. What I am concerned about is that people considering attending a fellowship would shy away from CCF simply because they think that they would feel awkward and/or wouldn't be accepted there. Personally, I have trouble even convincing my Caucasian Christian friends to attend, because they think it is too exclusive. This is an issue that has been largely unaddressed in the past, perhaps because a large portion of the membership come from Chinese churches, and CCF is simply an extension of what they already know. Yes, of course there are other fellowships that people can attend. The truth of the matter is, however, that it is very unlikely that a non-believer would ever try out any fellowship alone without being brought along by a friend, and I'm sure that mostly every CCF member has friends who are not Chinese, be it classmates, housemates, or high school acquaintances.

Wow, it'll never cease to amaze me just how much writing helps me to articulate the jumble of thoughts that float around inside my head! =P Blessings

Ugh!

That would about summarize what I'm feeling right now. Last weekend at Victoria's was so fun. Then Mom came and we had a great time (minus the hockey game, but we were in Mamma Mia so it made up for the slaughter). By the way, Mamma Mia is sooo good! Anyways, on Tuesday or so, I started feeling my energy leave. Then came the sore throat. Then came the sniffles extreme. And now, here I am at home trying to get better in time for the retreat tomorrow. My head feels like it's going to explode. I have no balance, and I feel like I'm going to fall over every time I get up. I know how important this retreat is, and I really really don't want to miss it. If I'm still feeling like this though, I don't think anybody will want me around (nor would I want to be around anybody). Anyways, prayers for the return of good health, God willing, and that I maintain a God-centered vs. "wallowing in self-pity" attitude would be greatly appreciated. I hope that anybody reading this doesn't get what I have. Good health to you all!

Switchfoot!!!

Couldn't write yesterday because I was really busy (and praise the Lord above that I don't need to buy a new computer! Phewf!), so I didn't have a chance to write about the awesome concert that Victoria and I went to see on Wednesday evening. We went to see Switchfoot at Kool Haus here in Toronto and it was so awesome! I had never been to something like that before. When we first walked in, it felt like my old school gymnasium at a dance or something (with a bar, as Victoria added). When the opening band was playing, everybody was just sort of standing around watching them, and I thought to myself, "They're pretty good... but why is everybody so still?" Then when Switchfoot finally came on at 9 pm, everybody started screaming and the excitement level of the whole place escalated. Victoria and I had a little bet (with no prize) on what they were going to open with. We were both wrong LOL! They opened with 'Dare You to Move', which I previously thought wasn't energetic enough that they would open with it, but it proved to be perfect. As soon as they played 'Ammunition', everybody started jumping up and down and stuff. It was really fun. There was some moshing and body surfing, but we were a couple of rows behind it. I would never trust people to care about me enough to care about dropping me. John Foreman from Switchfoot actually body-surfed twice and sang at the same time. I suppose that when you're the lead singer of the band, you don't have to worry about being dropped! =P

They closed with 'Meant to Live', and then sang 'Gone' as their encore. We didn't have a chance to get an autograph as Victoria and I both had to get up in the morning for work, but I must say that my first concert experience (I exclude my Anne Murray concert as the type of concert I mean) was very positive. Oh and the best part! I bought the CD "The Beautiful Letdown" for only $15 and no tax! Now I can listen to them whenever I want =)

It was amazing to see how much people love them, especially since many of their lyrics have Christian allusions in them. I have to wonder how many people actually stop and think about the lyrics as they sing along to songs on the radio. But then again, don't we as Christians sometimes do the exact same thing in church? Do you know that I've been singing about God's faithfulness for years and didn't truly understand the full meaning of that statement until a couple of months ago? My hope is that when people listent to Switchfoot, that they will be engaged in wondering what the meaning of lyrics such as "one world, on desperation, one hope and one salvation", "I've got my hands at Redemption's side, whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine", and "everything inside screams for second life". Thank God for a band that has made it mainstream that doesn't sing about girls, crime, sex, and drugs. Let us fill our heads with things that are pure so that our thoughts may be pure as well... gee, that Paul was a smart guy!

This past week has been like an emotional roller-coaster. I can't say it was all that enjoyable, but I had to keep going to God and submitting myself to whatever lessons He's trying to teach me. I won't delve into details, but things with work aren't going my way. We've started some new assays, and mine never work... just like usual. Mine always seem to take longer to work than other people. I am slow in the lab... always have been, ever since grade 7. I'm really glad once again that I have made the decision not to go into research. It's just far too stressful for me. I feel like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit into the puzzle. All the same, I am so thankful of what I've learned. There was more to the week as well, but everything was compounded by the fact that I got to go home on Thursday afternoon (yay! I'm in Ottawa!) It made the week go by SO SLOW! I heard myself utter the phrase "I just wanna go home!" at least a dozen times since Monday.

One time, we were having computer troubles at Sick Kids Hospital (we were using one of their fancy robots) and Bart and Karen and I spent over an hour trying to get a file to work. Finally, Bart said, "Ah, just go home!" I perked up and said, "home!?" Karen laughed and said, "Bart, you better watch what you say, because she'll be on a bus to Ottawa within the hour!" And it's true... I would have been.

But now I'm home and things are much better. It's nice to be in my own house, with my own parents, spending time with my friends that I haven't seen for so long. I'm also getting my head ready for the term that awaits me once I go back to Waterloo. I have to admit that I'm afraid... but not to the point that I'm not excited as well. Next semester is full of 29 class hours, 12 of them lab. I have physics again, which isn't my strongest point, and another Analytical chem lab (this one is 6 hours long). For those of you who hung around me last term, you would know that the analytical lab made me question my entire vocation. That isn't much to look forward to. But I will also be serving on CCF committee. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my time. I am very much looking forward to everything about it... even the time trials, because I know that God will carry me through and me my strength.. and He'll find me a friend that's good at physics to help me! =D

My parents took me to see "The Passion of the Christ" yesterday. How could I possibly be worried over so many trivial things in life after this brutal and shocking reminder of what my Lord and Saviour went though on my behalf. As I watched his body being scourged, I could barely contain my grief. "For me!? For me!?" Every lash, every drop of blood spilled... I may as well been the one with the whip, one jeering in the crowd, one of the accusers. It's easy to start to be angry and bitter towards the people who persecuted Jesus, but they weren't really responsible for His death. He allowed it, and He allowed it because He loves me that much. I think as Christians, we often minimalize the incredible sacrifice that He did on our behalf. I am so thankful for this reminder of two things... of my own evil nature and how I hurt God with my own sin, and then of God's fathomless love... who would descend onto Earth to save the very people who hurt him, who laugh at him, who spit in his face, who put him to death. I don't think I could have ever done for Jesus what He did for me... I am far too selfish for that, and far too afraid. But I hope that in life, I can lay it down for Him. It is the least I can do when confronted with such a love as this. Thank you so much Jesus.

Yesterday was a day to remember...

I got the opportunity to go to see a live taping of Royal Canadian Air Farce at CBC with my co-workers... and for free! ^_^ It was really fun. Something out of the ordinary of course, but it seemed almost like a bit of a dream since I've been watching Air Farce on TV since I was about 9 years old (though I haven't watched TV much in a couple of years). My 9-year-old self would have never imagined that I would ever get to be three feet away from the people who have kept me entertained for so many years. The show was also great since the cast and the "ground crew" (two musicians who sang really funny songs) really catered well to the audience. You didn't feel snubbed or anything of the sort. A truly enjoyable experience all around. I took a few pictures and will post them when they are developed.

Do you ever "people-watch"? You know, you're sitting in a coffee shop and watch people walking their dogs, or parking their cars, or jogging down the street, or pushing strollers. I really think it's a neat sort of past-time because in that moment in time, those people have become part of your world, but it is likely that they don't know you exist. It is also possible that they have watched you at an earlier time, or will further in the future. To me, when I stop to think about this, it makes the world seem so big. We are often so preoccupied with our own little worlds, circle of friends, problems and work or school that we take little time to reflect on the "world at large"... if you've never done it, try it! People watching... with a new perspective!

I'm hungry... Goodbye!