This past week has been like an emotional roller-coaster. I can't say it was all that enjoyable, but I had to keep going to God and submitting myself to whatever lessons He's trying to teach me. I won't delve into details, but things with work aren't going my way. We've started some new assays, and mine never work... just like usual. Mine always seem to take longer to work than other people. I am slow in the lab... always have been, ever since grade 7. I'm really glad once again that I have made the decision not to go into research. It's just far too stressful for me. I feel like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit into the puzzle. All the same, I am so thankful of what I've learned. There was more to the week as well, but everything was compounded by the fact that I got to go home on Thursday afternoon (yay! I'm in Ottawa!) It made the week go by SO SLOW! I heard myself utter the phrase "I just wanna go home!" at least a dozen times since Monday.

One time, we were having computer troubles at Sick Kids Hospital (we were using one of their fancy robots) and Bart and Karen and I spent over an hour trying to get a file to work. Finally, Bart said, "Ah, just go home!" I perked up and said, "home!?" Karen laughed and said, "Bart, you better watch what you say, because she'll be on a bus to Ottawa within the hour!" And it's true... I would have been.

But now I'm home and things are much better. It's nice to be in my own house, with my own parents, spending time with my friends that I haven't seen for so long. I'm also getting my head ready for the term that awaits me once I go back to Waterloo. I have to admit that I'm afraid... but not to the point that I'm not excited as well. Next semester is full of 29 class hours, 12 of them lab. I have physics again, which isn't my strongest point, and another Analytical chem lab (this one is 6 hours long). For those of you who hung around me last term, you would know that the analytical lab made me question my entire vocation. That isn't much to look forward to. But I will also be serving on CCF committee. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my time. I am very much looking forward to everything about it... even the time trials, because I know that God will carry me through and me my strength.. and He'll find me a friend that's good at physics to help me! =D

My parents took me to see "The Passion of the Christ" yesterday. How could I possibly be worried over so many trivial things in life after this brutal and shocking reminder of what my Lord and Saviour went though on my behalf. As I watched his body being scourged, I could barely contain my grief. "For me!? For me!?" Every lash, every drop of blood spilled... I may as well been the one with the whip, one jeering in the crowd, one of the accusers. It's easy to start to be angry and bitter towards the people who persecuted Jesus, but they weren't really responsible for His death. He allowed it, and He allowed it because He loves me that much. I think as Christians, we often minimalize the incredible sacrifice that He did on our behalf. I am so thankful for this reminder of two things... of my own evil nature and how I hurt God with my own sin, and then of God's fathomless love... who would descend onto Earth to save the very people who hurt him, who laugh at him, who spit in his face, who put him to death. I don't think I could have ever done for Jesus what He did for me... I am far too selfish for that, and far too afraid. But I hope that in life, I can lay it down for Him. It is the least I can do when confronted with such a love as this. Thank you so much Jesus.