~ Happy Easter ~

A quote...

He was born of a woman so that we could be born of God. He humbled Himself so that we could be lifted up. He became a servant so that we could be made co-heirs. He suffered rejection so that we could become His friends.

~ Chuck Missler

~ Changes ~

Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his." (2 Tim 2:19a)

I am the Lord's. God's solid foundation stands firm. My faith will stand firm because it is built upon the perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

To describe the feelings mulling around inside of me right now would take up much too much space. I have been blessed with the opportunity to go and do my Masters degree at Simon Fraser University in Global Health (Population and Public Health). I start on September 4th.

I shared some of what preparation for graduation has stirred within me--the personal struggles, excitements, and doubts-- at CCF sharing night tonight. Tonight was my last official CCF program as an UW undergrad...it was also the longest program I have ever attended. Maybe God was looking out for me, because He knew that I didn't want it to end. In one moment, I am laughing. In the next, I am crying. What will life be like away from this spiritual safe-place? Will I be able to maintain the close bonds that God has nurtured here...bonds that have helped transform me into who I am today?

This term has felt like an emotional rollercoaster. Yet through everything -- through jubilation, excitement, fear, and doubt alike -- God has remained constant. He has asked me to trust Him. He is trustworthy. There is none like Him. No other is more suitable to entrust my future to than Him.

My Lord knows that my heart needs peace. He has gently whispered away Satan's lies, and reaffirmed the path I have chosen. How gracious are you, O Lord, that you patiently walk with me as I go in circles...waiting on the fringe before deciding I can trust you. I do trust you Lord. I believe! And yet, I know that I must ask you, like the man asking Jesus to heal his sick daughter -- "I believe Lord! Help me with my unbelief."

I am vulnerable and weak, Lord. And yet, I am exactly where I need to be. Putty in your hands. Have your way with me, God. Take me, and make me yours. Take this tender heart of mine, and heal it. Take this small faith, and let it grow to move mountains. For I feel I don't yet have even a mustard seed. Yet Jesus, if you ask me, I will walk on water to get to you. Just tell me once again of your faithfulness and might.

~ For Fun...~

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You are Spider-Man

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Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

~ Christians Can't Multi-Task ~

An excerpt from an article at Boundless webzine. Very interesting point! You can read the whole thing by clicking here. Here's the humorous highlight...

Imagine a movie where the noncommittal boyfriend finally gets down on one knee, looks up into the eyes of his sweetheart, and solemnly intones, "Baby, to signify how important our relationship has become to me, I am now removing the second earpiece of my iPod."

Soaring orchestral music rises in triumph as he reaches to his ear, never taking his eyes off of her, and in a radical display of commitment removes the glistening piece of white plastic and places it carefully in his pocket for later use.

After several moments of silence, while his sweetheart allows the last strains of Coldplay to fade from her own remaining earpiece, she returns the display of devotion. Then, they kiss. This is Hollywood at its finest.

....

The truth is that multitasking often hampers our productivity, robs us of quiet thought, and keeps us from demonstrating Christ's love. For these reasons we can see that multitasking is generally more of a hindrance than a help.

However, the lazy part of us wants to jump on that and say, "No multitasking, ever!" It's much easier to make a legalistic declaration than to continue asking the right questions. However, we must take the harder road of not rejecting multitasking entirely, but rather carefully evaluating each situation as another opportunity to determine what most glorifies God.

[From an article written by Alex & Brett Harris]

~ Captivated ~

Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder
Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze
Your anger is fiercer than the sun in its splendour
You’re close and yet full of mystery
Ever since the day that I saw Your face
Try as I may, I cannot look away, I cannot look away…

Captivated by You
I am captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon the beauty of Your face

Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my gaze
I become more like You and my heart is changed
Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my view
Transform me into the likeness of You

This is what I ask, for all my days
That I may, never look away, never look away…
No other could ever be as beautiful
No other could ever steal my heart away
I just can’t look away…

[Vicky Beeching]

---------

Last weekend I went to my last winter retreat as a CCFer. It was cold, and then too hot, and then there were hornets (don't even ask)...and I just wanted to go home. But thank the Lord I didn't. The Spirit utterly rocked that premises. Thank you Jesus for speaking to me. Thank you Jesus for seeing me - all of me - and loving me the same. Thank you for interrupting my self down-ward spiral of circle walking. I can walk straight now because my eyes are back on you. I am not worthy to look at you my Lord - it is only possible by grace - and yet you died just so I could look directly at you. And so I will. I don't know how...but you are faithful. You will show me how. Just don't let me look away again Lord - living a life with artificial fruit. I am free from the bondage of sin. I am free because I am no longer condemned. Help me to live this freedom - freedom to walk this life eye-to-eye every single moment beside you. Amen.

...lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

~Hebrews 12: 1-2

~Blazing the trail ~

I’m almost certain nobody reads this anymore, and who can blame them since I am such an infrequent updater. And yet today, I am in the mood to blog, and so I shall, if not for the benefit of anyone else but myself…and a record for posterity!

So here I am in 4B of my undergrad…

…

…sniffles...

…how is it that I can be so happy and content, and so melancholy at the exact same time? I just need to keep reminding myself to thank God for my time here in Waterloo, and trust His wisdom that I’ll be okay as I leave this place, and follow the path He has laid out for me. I am so excited to pursue this new path in Global Health, but so attached to the people that God has brought into my life over the course of my time here and on co-op. Alas…my heart is heavy.

Perhaps the biggest blessing this term is living with Victoria again. It’s so great that we are in the same city, after a whole year! We aren’t that great at keeping in touch, which makes the separation harder, however because Jesus is the foundation of our friendship, it can withstand distance and time. It is comforting to know that she’s right on the other side of the wall, and that we can support each other in prayer, and push each other to seek God and push harder in our faith. Praise the Lord!

Being a Devotional Leader in CCF has been the most surprising blessing of these past few months. It really goes to show that often the things we are the most afraid to do for God and the things that if we obey, help us grow the most. Of all the positions I’ve held on committee, this has been my favourite. I really enjoy that it is actually part of my “job” to pore over the Bible and pray with people! And most of all it has really helped me develop a special friendship with Alison that I cherish very much. I also got to know Kevin and what his heart is for much better than before (even though I’ve known him since second year!). Finally, another thing about being a DL is that it hasn’t felt like work. People tell me that I serve a lot in CCF. I guess I forget after each time somebody says that, because it seems so much like where I’m supposed to be.

Another surprising blessing was when the Project Manager from the International Tobacco Control Project hired me as a part-time assistant. I had been volunteering there since October, but now I am getting paid. This is a reminder of how God provides. I was in a bit of a tension because I felt like I should get a small job this term, but knew I couldn’t because my volunteering with ITC was more important for my future (and much more interesting!). Then God provided the perfect solution…turn my volunteering into my job for me! Working at ITC has been so encouraging. I have been able to make real contributions. My work and opinion are valued there, even though I’m just a nobody who knows relatively nothing about public health or policy. But I can tell you I know a lot more now than I did a couple months ago!

Grad school applications are due in 2 weeks. This is it…this is really it. It is real now. It is time to make the very most of the opportunities I have with people here while I still can. But how can I leave a place that has saved my life? This place that God used to completely transform my character and spiritual walk? Unlike high school, if somebody told me to do undergrad again, I would. But I know that this is not what God wants for me. I know He wants me to trust Him and go forward. I can’t be like Lot’s wife. And yet I must also trust that God will help me bring with me the love and friendships that I have made during my time here. Such love need not be restricted by time and space. It just is a whole lot easier when everybody lives less than a 15 minute walk away!

Wow…ramble, ramble, ramble. This stuff has been spinning inside me for a while. I could write about this for hours, but it will get me nowhere. The biggest struggle from here to April will to be PRESENT…not to be daydreaming about the future, nor continuously revisiting the past, and in so doing, miss out on the gifts and tasks that God has given me NOW.

And so…I pause.

~ 23...but who's counting? ~

Another birthday come and went, but not without tremendous blessing and friendship. From the family cards and e-cards and e-mails, to the new NASB pocket Bible that I had been so anxiously waiting to open from Mom and Dad, to yet another birthday gift from Charles (haha...good thing it's for Christmas too!), to singing telegrams, to a lunch with a good friend, to free fancy dinner on the Faculty of Science, topped off by a *surprising* surprise party...what can I say but "Thank you so much!" And of course, I can't leave out the "unbirthday party" at Dim Sum in Hamilton with Lamo Bay! (By the way Karen, I'm really enjoying the book, thank you!). If years were measured in joy, then I am happy to say that I am marking the passing of another year...and it's because of the people that the Lord has placed in my life. In a way, it is like a reverse birthday celebration, because I am so grateful that every person who is in my life was born so that I could know them!

So what do I have to say about 23? Well, being the over-sentamentalist that I am, turning 23 is quite a milestone for me, as I have finally arrived at the "undergraduation" age. In only four months, I will have to say goodbye to this place that has grown on my heart so much. In a way, it seems unfair, just as I have opened myself up more and become more vulnerable with people, going deeper into these friendships and learning new lessons of what it really means to love...I feel like leaving this place is going to rip my heart out! Of course I know that the Lord has a new goal and a continuing purpose for my life as I head off to grad school (God willing), however it will be with big fat tears that I will close this chapter of my life.

But for now, I just have to survive through these exams, lest I speak too soon and have to return for an extra year ^_~

To everyone who made my special day so special, in word or thought, prayer or deed, my heartfelt thanks. I am humbled by the love the Lord shows me through others.