Joyful Jangle... the Blog Files

2007-04-08T08:56:00.000-04:00

~ Happy Easter ~

A quote...

He was born of a woman so that we could be born of God. He humbled Himself so that we could be lifted up. He became a servant so that we could be made co-heirs. He suffered rejection so that we could become His friends.

~ Chuck Missler

2007-03-31T03:46:00.000-04:00

~ Changes ~

Nevertheless, God's solid foundation stands firm, sealed with this inscription: "The Lord knows those who are his." (2 Tim 2:19a)

I am the Lord's. God's solid foundation stands firm. My faith will stand firm because it is built upon the perfect sacrifice of Jesus Christ.

To describe the feelings mulling around inside of me right now would take up much too much space. I have been blessed with the opportunity to go and do my Masters degree at Simon Fraser University in Global Health (Population and Public Health). I start on September 4th.

I shared some of what preparation for graduation has stirred within me--the personal struggles, excitements, and doubts-- at CCF sharing night tonight. Tonight was my last official CCF program as an UW undergrad...it was also the longest program I have ever attended. Maybe God was looking out for me, because He knew that I didn't want it to end. In one moment, I am laughing. In the next, I am crying. What will life be like away from this spiritual safe-place? Will I be able to maintain the close bonds that God has nurtured here...bonds that have helped transform me into who I am today?

This term has felt like an emotional rollercoaster. Yet through everything -- through jubilation, excitement, fear, and doubt alike -- God has remained constant. He has asked me to trust Him. He is trustworthy. There is none like Him. No other is more suitable to entrust my future to than Him.

My Lord knows that my heart needs peace. He has gently whispered away Satan's lies, and reaffirmed the path I have chosen. How gracious are you, O Lord, that you patiently walk with me as I go in circles...waiting on the fringe before deciding I can trust you. I do trust you Lord. I believe! And yet, I know that I must ask you, like the man asking Jesus to heal his sick daughter -- "I believe Lord! Help me with my unbelief."

I am vulnerable and weak, Lord. And yet, I am exactly where I need to be. Putty in your hands. Have your way with me, God. Take me, and make me yours. Take this tender heart of mine, and heal it. Take this small faith, and let it grow to move mountains. For I feel I don't yet have even a mustard seed. Yet Jesus, if you ask me, I will walk on water to get to you. Just tell me once again of your faithfulness and might.

2007-03-18T16:59:00.000-04:00

~ For Fun...~

Your results:
You are Spider-Man

Spider-Man	You are intelligent, witty, a bit geeky and have great power and responsibility.		70%
Superman		70%
Hulk		40%
Wonder Woman		38%
Green Lantern		35%
Robin		32%
The Flash		25%
Supergirl		23%
Iron Man		20%
Catwoman		10%
Batman		10%

Click here to take the Superhero Personality Test

2007-02-06T23:59:00.000-05:00

~ Christians Can't Multi-Task ~

An excerpt from an article at Boundless webzine. Very interesting point! You can read the whole thing by clicking here. Here's the humorous highlight...

Imagine a movie where the noncommittal boyfriend finally gets down on one knee, looks up into the eyes of his sweetheart, and solemnly intones, "Baby, to signify how important our relationship has become to me, I am now removing the second earpiece of my iPod."

Soaring orchestral music rises in triumph as he reaches to his ear, never taking his eyes off of her, and in a radical display of commitment removes the glistening piece of white plastic and places it carefully in his pocket for later use.

After several moments of silence, while his sweetheart allows the last strains of Coldplay to fade from her own remaining earpiece, she returns the display of devotion. Then, they kiss. This is Hollywood at its finest.

....

The truth is that multitasking often hampers our productivity, robs us of quiet thought, and keeps us from demonstrating Christ's love. For these reasons we can see that multitasking is generally more of a hindrance than a help.

However, the lazy part of us wants to jump on that and say, "No multitasking, ever!" It's much easier to make a legalistic declaration than to continue asking the right questions. However, we must take the harder road of not rejecting multitasking entirely, but rather carefully evaluating each situation as another opportunity to determine what most glorifies God.

[From an article written by Alex & Brett Harris]

2007-01-27T17:29:00.000-05:00

~ Captivated ~

Your laughter it echoes like a joyous thunder
Your whisper it warms me like a summer breeze
Your anger is fiercer than the sun in its splendour
You’re close and yet full of mystery
Ever since the day that I saw Your face
Try as I may, I cannot look away, I cannot look away…

Captivated by You
I am captivated by You
May my life be one unbroken gaze
Fixed upon the beauty of Your face

Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my gaze
I become more like You and my heart is changed
Beholding is becoming, so as You fill my view
Transform me into the likeness of You

This is what I ask, for all my days
That I may, never look away, never look away…
No other could ever be as beautiful
No other could ever steal my heart away
I just can’t look away…

[Vicky Beeching]

---------

Last weekend I went to my last winter retreat as a CCFer. It was cold, and then too hot, and then there were hornets (don't even ask)...and I just wanted to go home. But thank the Lord I didn't. The Spirit utterly rocked that premises. Thank you Jesus for speaking to me. Thank you Jesus for seeing me - all of me - and loving me the same. Thank you for interrupting my self down-ward spiral of circle walking. I can walk straight now because my eyes are back on you. I am not worthy to look at you my Lord - it is only possible by grace - and yet you died just so I could look directly at you. And so I will. I don't know how...but you are faithful. You will show me how. Just don't let me look away again Lord - living a life with artificial fruit. I am free from the bondage of sin. I am free because I am no longer condemned. Help me to live this freedom - freedom to walk this life eye-to-eye every single moment beside you. Amen.

...lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.

~Hebrews 12: 1-2

2007-01-13T00:46:00.000-05:00

~Blazing the trail ~

I’m almost certain nobody reads this anymore, and who can blame them since I am such an infrequent updater. And yet today, I am in the mood to blog, and so I shall, if not for the benefit of anyone else but myself…and a record for posterity!

So here I am in 4B of my undergrad…

…

…sniffles...

…how is it that I can be so happy and content, and so melancholy at the exact same time? I just need to keep reminding myself to thank God for my time here in Waterloo, and trust His wisdom that I’ll be okay as I leave this place, and follow the path He has laid out for me. I am so excited to pursue this new path in Global Health, but so attached to the people that God has brought into my life over the course of my time here and on co-op. Alas…my heart is heavy.

Perhaps the biggest blessing this term is living with Victoria again. It’s so great that we are in the same city, after a whole year! We aren’t that great at keeping in touch, which makes the separation harder, however because Jesus is the foundation of our friendship, it can withstand distance and time. It is comforting to know that she’s right on the other side of the wall, and that we can support each other in prayer, and push each other to seek God and push harder in our faith. Praise the Lord!

Being a Devotional Leader in CCF has been the most surprising blessing of these past few months. It really goes to show that often the things we are the most afraid to do for God and the things that if we obey, help us grow the most. Of all the positions I’ve held on committee, this has been my favourite. I really enjoy that it is actually part of my “job” to pore over the Bible and pray with people! And most of all it has really helped me develop a special friendship with Alison that I cherish very much. I also got to know Kevin and what his heart is for much better than before (even though I’ve known him since second year!). Finally, another thing about being a DL is that it hasn’t felt like work. People tell me that I serve a lot in CCF. I guess I forget after each time somebody says that, because it seems so much like where I’m supposed to be.

Another surprising blessing was when the Project Manager from the International Tobacco Control Project hired me as a part-time assistant. I had been volunteering there since October, but now I am getting paid. This is a reminder of how God provides. I was in a bit of a tension because I felt like I should get a small job this term, but knew I couldn’t because my volunteering with ITC was more important for my future (and much more interesting!). Then God provided the perfect solution…turn my volunteering into my job for me! Working at ITC has been so encouraging. I have been able to make real contributions. My work and opinion are valued there, even though I’m just a nobody who knows relatively nothing about public health or policy. But I can tell you I know a lot more now than I did a couple months ago!

Grad school applications are due in 2 weeks. This is it…this is really it. It is real now. It is time to make the very most of the opportunities I have with people here while I still can. But how can I leave a place that has saved my life? This place that God used to completely transform my character and spiritual walk? Unlike high school, if somebody told me to do undergrad again, I would. But I know that this is not what God wants for me. I know He wants me to trust Him and go forward. I can’t be like Lot’s wife. And yet I must also trust that God will help me bring with me the love and friendships that I have made during my time here. Such love need not be restricted by time and space. It just is a whole lot easier when everybody lives less than a 15 minute walk away!

Wow…ramble, ramble, ramble. This stuff has been spinning inside me for a while. I could write about this for hours, but it will get me nowhere. The biggest struggle from here to April will to be PRESENT…not to be daydreaming about the future, nor continuously revisiting the past, and in so doing, miss out on the gifts and tasks that God has given me NOW.

And so…I pause.

2006-12-09T23:28:00.000-05:00

~ 23...but who's counting? ~

Another birthday come and went, but not without tremendous blessing and friendship. From the family cards and e-cards and e-mails, to the new NASB pocket Bible that I had been so anxiously waiting to open from Mom and Dad, to yet another birthday gift from Charles (haha...good thing it's for Christmas too!), to singing telegrams, to a lunch with a good friend, to free fancy dinner on the Faculty of Science, topped off by a *surprising* surprise party...what can I say but "Thank you so much!" And of course, I can't leave out the "unbirthday party" at Dim Sum in Hamilton with Lamo Bay! (By the way Karen, I'm really enjoying the book, thank you!). If years were measured in joy, then I am happy to say that I am marking the passing of another year...and it's because of the people that the Lord has placed in my life. In a way, it is like a reverse birthday celebration, because I am so grateful that every person who is in my life was born so that I could know them!

So what do I have to say about 23? Well, being the over-sentamentalist that I am, turning 23 is quite a milestone for me, as I have finally arrived at the "undergraduation" age. In only four months, I will have to say goodbye to this place that has grown on my heart so much. In a way, it seems unfair, just as I have opened myself up more and become more vulnerable with people, going deeper into these friendships and learning new lessons of what it really means to love...I feel like leaving this place is going to rip my heart out! Of course I know that the Lord has a new goal and a continuing purpose for my life as I head off to grad school (God willing), however it will be with big fat tears that I will close this chapter of my life.

But for now, I just have to survive through these exams, lest I speak too soon and have to return for an extra year ^_~

To everyone who made my special day so special, in word or thought, prayer or deed, my heartfelt thanks. I am humbled by the love the Lord shows me through others.

2006-11-06T00:46:00.000-05:00

~ 3-2-1 Reconnect ~

What a blessing the last two weekends have been. First, to spend time with my dear Hamilton housemates and Charles, see friends from Oxygen at the Murder Mystery (like Karen and Dim-1...hahaha), and then a lovely afternoon with my Waterfit friends, Elsa and Ann.

Then this weekend, to see so many old faces back in Waterloo, like Carolyn, Brian, Alex, Yu-Ling, Mike, and Josiah, and then be blessed by a long-overdue phone conversation with dearest Vicki!

All capped off by an afternoon of prayer and fellowship...and blueberry tea.

Truly, life's richest wealth is in the joy of sharing it with people....which makes me very wealthy indeed.

2006-08-31T17:42:00.000-04:00

~ An Ode to Lamo Bay~

Tucked in cozy Westdale,
A place where sisters pray,
Stands a house of refuge,
We call it Lamo Bay.

Always feels like home here,
You'll know it from the start,
If you linger longer,
It's sure to touch your heart.

Wecomed by its dwellers,
A pilgrim when I came,
Now life moves me onwards,
I'll never be the same.

Can't describe my anguish,
In leaving it behind,
Never such a treasure,
Outside it likely find.

I know that Jesus lives there,
He's present day and night,
Sincere lovingkindness,
Is never out of sight.

Resident no longer,
I just wanted to say,
"Love you girls so dearly,
You girls from Lamo Bay."

Thank you, Erika, Karne, Gloria...for being God's instruments. And thank you to everyone at Philpott who walked with me these last few months, to Chuck for so much, and to the lab for memories to last a lifetime. So long Hamilton. I hope it won't be long.

2006-08-05T22:19:00.000-04:00

~ Musings ~

Well I'm just plain crummy at keeping this page up-to-date. I'm sure that it has been long abandoned by readers, and so I will semi-diligently keep it up, if only as a memory keepsake to trace myself back to my progress in my own spiritual walk of life! ^_~

So last post, I promised some personal sharing on revelations that I've had about God, myself, and life in general. So here is one...

This one is probably the biggest, and I'd like to expand on it more, perhaps in a CCF Insight article one day, but for now, here it is!

The temptation of Eve

I have come to realize why gossip is generally a much more tempting thing to women than it is to men. I have also come to realize why women more often than men tend to have reputations as busybodies, worry-warts, and control-freaks (although I have met some men who finely exemplify these traits as well).

How did I come to these realizations? Is this some sort of a sexist commentary that I'm delving into? Not at all. This problem plagues all of human kind, but after all, it was a woman, Eve, who the serpent persuaded to take the fruit from the Tree of the knowledge of Good & Evil.

So what was so glamorous about this fruit? Was it more colourful and lush looking than the others? Did it smell nice? Or did Eve really want to hurt God? Alienate herself from God?

Well no...and yes.

You see, the temptation that Eve succumbed to, I believe, was not a malicious or hateful act against God, but an act of utter distrust. You've heard it said before: Women like to know everything! I used to think that Eve was silly; trading a face-to-face relationship with God for pain, suffering, death, and separation. What kind of crack-choice is that?

It wasn't until I was facing a moment of great uncertainty in my life that I started to truly understand the true tempation of Eve. One day, as I was holding my face in pain and confusion, my own lips uttered the words: I wish I knew everything!

I wish I knew everything. At that moment, it hit me. If for a second, Eve and I were to switch lives, and it were me that the serpent was persauding to disobey God's will, I would have done it in a heart-beat. You mean if I eat this fruit, I'll know the things that God isn't letting me in on? Maybe I'll even be able to know what the future will hold?

The the temptation of Eve was the draw of certainty in life. Yet God intended only one thing to be certain; the gift of Himself. In return, He expects our trust with everything in our lives. He reveals to us only the next step. We needn't see any farther forward, lest we get lost in the future and miss the gift of His presence.

I am more of a sinner than Eve. Fully having seen the consequences of distrust and disobedience of the Lord, even so there are moments when my desperation would cause me to accept the forbidden fruit. I am in need of more grace than she. I deserve the alienation and shame of being cast out of God's presence. And yet, I rejoice, for Jesus took my place, and reigned victorious over the death that awaits me.

And so I respond by surrendering the desire to be in control of my own destiny, and to foresee what life holds for me. I will trust my Creator. I am a daughter of Eve.

No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
~ 1 Corinthians 10:12-14

2006-06-12T23:38:00.000-04:00

~ Course Selection ~

Oh to be going into 5th year...I thought that nothing would thrwart the "earned" seniority I now have in my course selection. Apparently, my seniority doesn't override God =P

The finger of God literally chose my courses today. I'm intrigued (and scared) for next year!

Anybody in 'Loo reading (you know who you are!), I miss you!

Oh yeah, and we are house-sitting for a family in which the father is a prof at OISE (I had no clue!). He sounds like such a fantastic person. He offered to look over and critique my experience profile. And the best thing is, there is no conflict of interest since I'm not applying to OISE (UT Teacher's college). Wow, it was one of the coolest phone calls I've had in a while.

God is great! Can I have an AMEN?

2006-05-11T19:02:00.000-04:00

~ Refreshed ~

Whoa! An email from the friend containing his new blog address made me realize how long it's been since I've updated. I've been so far removed from the blogging world the last little while that I haven't even been reading any! Well, I'm back, refreshed and ready to go!

So, my life, my life... well, let's see, where to start? I think this blog may be a slightly administrative update of recent events in my life and how they affected me...although I've been gathering some insights that God has given me in the last month or so that I would like to share here over the next couple weeks, so stay tuned! (If anybody out there still reads this...)

Teaching high school chemistry...

So, for the first week of March, I was in with Mrs. Schreider shadow teaching her Grad 11 and 12 chemistry classes. What fun! I loved it! I marked quizzes and tests, helped set up and supervise labs, answer homework questions, talked about co-op, and finally taught two lessons myself. There were a few things about the experience that surprised me, namely:

1. Teachers get really intense "teaching" dreams! I had dreams/nightmares all week long, and when I confided in Mrs. S, she laughed and said she still gets similar dreams every August, and she's been around for a while...

2. Lesson planning takes forever! I had no idea it would take me so long to plan a single lesson, although at least that means that once the first year of teaching is out of the way, you're over that hurtle unless the curriculum dramatically changes.

3. It's a little odd to be student teaching a class that includes guys that you or your friend babysat back when they were 8 years old!

4. Being called "Miss" everywhere you go takes some getting used to...

Most encouraging of all throughout that week was an encounter I had while washing my hands in the washroom, where a Grade 11 student told me that she really liked my teaching. That was a great affirmation, which I also sensed by how the class as a whole responded to my style. They weren't hostile in the least.

Most challenging was when I helped out in a Grade 9 "special" class, with 8 students who were very delayed due to focussing problems. I like to be efficient in my teaching, but that goes out the window when half of your time with the student is spent trying to get their attention on what you're saying. But high school has never been just about the material, has it?

Philpott Memorial Church Coffeehouse...

I had the privelege of heading up the food team for my church's coffeehouse this term. I really appreciated the opportunity, since my work schedule doesn't afford much "regular" service in my church. I really feel an empty spot in that regard, but I have to also learn that "sporadic" service is service all the same! I just need to be in tune with the Holy Spirit to see which of those tasks are meant for me. What I learned from Coffeehouse was the humility of needing others to help you achieve your goal. I know that sounds stupid! I've always acknowledge in my head that as a member of the Body of Christ, I am part of a team. But even being on CCF committee for example, I never felt like I needed help doing my own job. I'm not saying I didn't need a team to do their own jobs. I just mean that I've never had trouble with doing my part. Food for coffeehouse was different. I've never made a cup of coffee IN MY LIFE, let alone keep it coming out fresh all evening! And although I have organized food events and made sure people brought stuff, I've never had to go to the market to make my own veggie plates and fruit platters. If it hadn't of been for Heather, Laura, Edu, Aaron, and James, I wouldn't have survived the evening. They were doing MY job, and I couldn't have been more thankful. Now I see a different angle on why Paul praised God for his weaknesses.

Weekend visits...

I've spent half of my weekends travelling around to stay connected with people, and have been very blessed by the fruitful relationships that God has graciously given me. Most recently was a lovely Waterloo weekend with my Vicki dearest! It was not an overly eventful weekend, but there's something powerful in sitting quiet and still with a close friend. I also went to visit Vicki and Rebecca in Mississauga last month, where I must say I was treated by Vicki's parents to the most wonderful food (thank you so much!). Also a very nice visit was Vanessa coming to see me in Hamilton back in March. We spent a nice afternoon touring around my work and Westdale, and enjoying each other's stories and company over mini cheese-cakes and blondies! Ahh...as Vicki and I were meditating this past weekend, "What would life be like without the fellowship of friends?"

There's a lot more to say, but I've already exceeded the length for an appropriate blog entry... so much has been happening. I will come back with those insights soon!

In the meantime, peace be with you!

2006-03-23T20:48:00.000-05:00

~ Sauga Bound! ~

This weekend will mark a much anticipated reunion of sorts, with the Mok sisters (can't wait to see you guys!). I'll be staying at Vicki and Becca's house in Mississauga and trekking off to Missionfest 2006, so I'm sure that there will be much to blog about upon my return. One seminar I want to go to is called "How to Hear God's Voice". This is an area that I sometimes seem to do well in, and other times (like now), I think that I am somewhat oblivious to that small still voice that calls us. I hope God will convict my heart in areas I need to change to help accelerate the dissolution of this barrier that has set-up in my heart these past couple weeks.

Missing Mom and Dad very much...they are currently in New Zealand and will be in Australia shortly. Poor Dad's caught himself a nasty cold. Prayers, prayers. It's weird just realizing that they are the farthest I could possibly go if I needed to see them. Haha, I remember when I lived with Diane in second year how her Mom would mix up the times every now and then and call at 5 am. Well, let's just say the joke's on me now! My poor, poor roommates ^_~

2006-03-21T22:09:00.000-05:00

~ The Cats of Westdale ~

Westdale, the area of Hamilton that I currently call home, has an usually high proportion of dogs and cats...and squirrels! I've never seen so many dog walkers. It's like being in "101 Dalmations" and watching all the owners that have similar features to their furry friends.

The dogs at least seem normal. Quite well behaved, well groomed, and bark from time to time at passers-by. The cats however, are somewhat of a phenomenon.

Out of my six or so encounters with out-door cats, I have been approached by 4 felines in the most familiar and unreserved way. The first time, this black cat with gleaming green eyes had just crossed my path. Now I've never been superstitious, but it got my spider senses tingling all the same. Then, it approached me at a frightening speed, and proceeded to purr and figure-eight up against my legs. When I froze wondering if it had rabies or something, examining for froth around the mouth from my 5-foot advantage, it started these weird sort of hops that contacted its head with the palm of my hand. A "self-pat" of sorts. Perplexed but convinced that this cat did not have rabies, I gave it a light pat on the head and tried to walk on. It followed me for 20 feet and then went back to its house.

Weird! Another time I was walking to work and the very same thing happens with a tortoise-shell. And again on another occasion. Then, just tonight, I was checking the mailbox of the house where my roommates and I are house-sitting, and out of nowhere, this striped grey tabby flies onto the front door-step and meows, rubbing up against my pant-leg. I had a hard time getting into the house without it following me in.

So, my unprecedented encounters beg the question: Is there something in the water here that only expresses itself in cats, or do I have a huge sign around my pants that says, "Come to me kittens of Westdale!"

2005-12-24T02:11:00.000-05:00

~ Recaps Long Overdue ~

Wow, it's been a while, and so much has happened...well, I guess it seems like a lot. For some reason, time seemed to pass slowly in December, all the while making me ask myself where the rest of the term went. Here's the update, quick style:

- Dec. 10th: Old Testament English exam...praise be to God, who helped me endure the hand cramps and the writers block that could potentially sink the three essays I need to write in 2.5 hours. Everything went smoothly, and even as I wrote the exam, I was forced to think of God's love in ways I never knew before taking the course. Thank you Lord - although I felt so many times like dropping the course, your grace pulled me through, and taught me many things along the way!

- Dec. 11th: Paul and Tiffany helped me move all my things into 208 Cline Ave. I stayed the night and unpacked all of my stuff and built a desk all by myself! (a very big achievement for such an un-handy girl).

- Dec. 12th: Roommate Christmas dinner...Vicki and Rebecca and myself put together a lovely ham dinner with stuffing and mashed potatoes; we had a guest of honour, Angela (our housemate from Australia who has gone home now). Other highlight - the gift exchange! Thank you to Vicki for Phase 10 (Yah!!) and the cute ornament and chocolate, Rebecca for the lovely stationary, and Angela for the kangaroo!

- Dec. 13th: Tutoring Organic Chem...man, I love teaching SOOO much!

- Dec. 16th: Dinner at East Sides - We all gathered to say farewell to Sam, a friend and fellow servant of Christ who has done much to help get me active in CCF. I can't thank you enough! God bless you in Seattle.

- Dec. 17th: I had dinner with Jenny at Williams and we talked for 5 hours. What wonderful fellowship, sharing, encouragement, dreaming...everything!

- Dec. 19th & Dec. 20th: After enduring bad sleeps, I wrote my final two exams, which went relatively smoothly - I am very grateful for I know that it was God's strength and not my own which pulled me through. My prayer is that I can use this knowledge I have gained for His glory.

- Dec 20th added event: I decided to push my luck and run for the 1:30 pm Greyhound to Ottawa instead of the 3:30 pm; I made it! My parents were very happy, since they could pick me up at 9:30 pm instead of midnight. Thanks Mom and Dad!

- Dec. 23rd: Just came home from a GREAT Christmas party with my hometown friends! I also had the extra added bonus of speaking to Dawn on the phone, which was nice since she couldn't be with us this Christmas. We had excellent conversations, about everything from the wisemen, to Family Guy (and wisemen!), to food, to economics, to music, to politics (only in Ottawa I tell you!), to history (thanks Nick for the lesson with the globe!), to oceanography =) I love stimulating conversation and great company with old friends, and with new friends!

- And that takes me to Dec. 24th - @ 2:22 am...the morning of Christmas Eve! I'm home, happy, safe and sound, healthy, and counting all my blessings. My heart can't help but rejoice in the Lord as I contemplate all He has given me. I know that not all Christmasses will be so good - even the very first Christmas was bittersweet, symbolized by the myrrh that the magi gave Jesus. Part of me is scared for those days of trials, which I have seemed to be lacking in lately. The other part of me knows they are necessary and welcomes them in order to draw closer to God. I think the song by Steven Curtis Chapman says it best: "I didn't come looking for trouble...But if it's going to make me grow stronger then, Bring it on!" In the meantime, I will enjoy these wonderful times, all the while storing up God's love in my heart so that I know if and when a storm comes, I will have all the joy I need.

I won't be updating most likely until the New Year, so to anyone stumbling across this page (or those who check it semi-regularly), I wish all God's bountiful blessings on you and yours this Christmas, and that the first chapter of our Gospel will move and grow in new and fantastic ways this holiday season.

God bless and Merry Christmas!

2005-12-08T00:04:00.000-05:00

~ On a mission... ~

Have you ever heard the theme song to "The Adventures of Tintin"? Oh man, all I knew is that I loved it. When I was a kid, I used to run to turn the TV on just to listen to the song. In my old age, I had forgotten how the song went, and have been wanting to hear it again for a long time.

Alas, my search has ended! Go Tintin!

Click to listen!

Besides that, things have been well. I have two finals down and three to go (already got back my final mark from Monday and am very pleased...Thank you Mom and Dad for all your prayers, and thank you God for testing my committment to you last Sunday, despite my Monday final).

I had the opportunity to help tutor organic chem with Chem Club tonight. Man, I just LOVE tutoring. I think I really do well with the one-on-one teaching setting. I believe that my volunteering at St. Peter's in March will be very telling of how I will like a larger group setting. All my life, I have taught one-on-one. I taught private piano lessons, reviewed school material with a friend, tutored CHEM 265...I wonder what it will be like?

I am getting excited about moving! It's coming up soon. I'm relieved to be going somewhere for more than 4 months, although I must say I will be sad to say goodbye to people in Waterloo for that long...and my dearest Vicki who I have lived with for 12 whole months! Oh Vicki, you've tolerated so much of me - I'll miss you sister!

Well, I'm going to listen to Tintin one more time before bed!

Inspired dreams of adventure and mystery await me...

2005-12-01T08:58:00.000-05:00

~ HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAWNER! ~

MUCH LOVE TODAY AND ALWAYS!

ahem...I hear the nominations are in for babe of 2005 =P

2005-11-30T16:36:00.000-05:00

~ Birthday Blessings! ~

Oh how birthdays remind us of the many blessings in our lives! This morning, I woke up to find a note outside my door that said "Last night some ninjas came by and said to say HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in Ninja font! LOL (you're so creative Vicki!) Then I got serenaded with the birthday song in my pj's by pyjama-cladded Vicki and Rebecca (who came bearing gifts!). Thank you so much for everything. It really started my day off so well!

Today was fun! Grace and Lynne wished me a happy birthday and Grace presented me with a plant in a magic egg that will apparently grow up to say "Happy Birthday" on the leaves! The rest of the day was studying, with a brief break for lunch with Thomas, who is leaving Waterloo soon. We had a great chat!

Then I went to get some groceries and bought a new dress-top for the Science Banquet/Christmas party (dual function!) with my gift certificate and money from Nannie and Aunt Cindy (thank you, thank you!). And now here I am!

So many thoughtful notes and emails through the day...I think that the thoughtfulness that people show on birthdays is really heartwarming. Thanks be to God for such warm friendships!

Lab-writing awaits. Scary times are ahead with exams, but we must take life one step at a time.

2005-10-30T12:50:00.000-05:00

~ 208 Cline Ave. ~

I know that there are always many things to be thankful, but I do believe that sometimes they're just easier to see. Right now is one of those times for me!

First of all, I can't thank God enough for my co-op job! I am so excited about it... not only am I passionate about what I'm going to be doing, and not only is it such a huge "God-thing" that I ended up working where I am, I get to spend 8 months on the Mac campus! When I was deciding on universities, my heart was absolutely set on Mac. But God's calling was distinctly that I should follow Him to Waterloo, and I'm so glad I did. I don't know, this almost seems like some sort of bonus, with God saying, "See! Because you followed me, you got to go to Mac for a while too!" I look forward to whatever tests, trials, and joys God has in store for me there.

Yesterday, Mike Mak graciously took me to Hamilton. Mike Yung was supposed to take me, but had too much work to do (thank you for finding another ride for me Mike, even when I wasn't aware!). Mike (M) took me to my four housing appointments. The first was nice and very economical, but my spider senses were tingling. Something didn't feel right. The second place...lol! Cheap as dirt, and dumpy as dirt! =P

There's NO way you're going to live in THIS place...

~ Mike Mak

It was worth a try I suppose! Then, they always say that the third try is a charm, and just like Cinderella's glass slipper, it was a perfect fit! I was most hopeful about this place because God brought it to me; I did not find it myself. Anyways, this is how the third visit went. First, Mike and I drove in a forbidden entrance to the street (LOL!). We were about to turn around and go in the proper entrance, when we figured out we were only less than 10 houses down from where we needed to be, so naturally, we reversed to the house! ^_^ The house looked so cute, as if it was out of a story book! When we went inside, I met Erika, Karen, and Rachel, three Christian girls affiliated with the church I'm planning to go to in Hamilton. I instantly felt comfortable in their presence and very welcomed. The house inside was darling! The paint colours were so warm and others vibrant (including my room! A bright, vibrant, watermelon sort of green!). They have a reading room with the sun streaming in the window, and books galore! My room has a symmetical slanted ceiling (childhood fantasy #24: check!) and is really cozy! The doors are finished in a warm chestnut brown, which with the green looks awesome! And even better, the mattress is firm and even...essential for my back. I was happy to see that the whole house was clean, and felt like "home" already. What a blessing! I knew I had found the right place.

After that, since we were running early, Mike and I had some time to kill, so we decided to walk to the grocery store (only 5 minutes away!) and then do the walk to Mac. We walked down a little strip in Westdale village and got these amazing pastries from a bakery there. Once we turned into the residential streets, it was like walking in a fall paradise. The houses are all from my favourite era, the trees are mature, the gardens are well-kept...and Mac is so close! We clocked it at about 15 minutes, but we were walking slowly and catching all the nice scenery. Mike showed me Mac's really new and modern student centre, and then we headed over to the fourth house.

The fourth house I found to be very dark. Not to mention that it was very far, and would require a bus pass for the full 8-months, which made it more expensive even though the rent was reasonable. The one perk is that it had a piano, but I knew that it wasn't the right fit from the moment we stepped into the foyer.

Mind made up, we headed back to 208 Cline and I gave the girls a post-dated cheque for my first month's rent! What a sense of peace! And on top of that, a lovely day spent with an old friend filled with interesting and challenging discussions about life and faith.

If you're reading this, (both Mikes!) thank you for your generosity and sacrifice. May God bless you and continue to grow inside you every day.

*sigh*... smile...

2005-10-24T19:03:00.000-04:00

~ En francais ~

Very quick update...

Going to Hamilton on Saturday to look at four places that I have lined up. I'm very hopeful. This whole experience has been so...easy. I don't know if that's a good or bad thing, but the circumstances surrounding my job seem like such a "God-thing" that I think it's good! ^_^ I hope...

Congratulations to Pearl, Alexis, Ray, and Steve on their convocations. You did it guys! Keep up the good work for God!

I'm up to my neck in stuff to do right now...it's weird because I'm not as busy as I have been before. I'm just not handling as well as I used to. I'm not sure why. A special thank you to Eric for listening to me and praying with me about my spiritual state. You are truly a stand-up brother in Christ.

Well, gotta go, but before I do, I found out what my "French name" is =P It's ironic because my first name is already French, but the little random generator changed it anyway! Click on the link and have fun making your own ^_^

...Oh man...I had to do it again because I lost the code and it gave me a different name...LOL! My first name was Eloise Lemaire, which I liked better than this:

Your French Name is:

Anastasie Chabert

What's Your French Name?

2005-10-18T00:31:00.000-04:00

~ Tagged ~

Before I post this fun little survey that Vicki tagged me with, a whirlwind update...

PRAISE TO GOD! I have a job, which means no interviews during midterms...AND!! it is the coolest job ever! PRAISE YOU LORD!

Looking for housing right now...it's very time consuming, especially when my time seems to already be consumed by school. Ugh, my body is so tired! I can't really figure out why. Perhaps I am fighting something.

I found what looks like a great church in Hamilton. We'll see how it is when I get there =)

Right now, God is teaching me patience. I can elaborate in person if you wish to inquire ^_^ For now though, say a little prayer for me! I need all I can get.

And now, the feature presentation:

-------------------------------------

Tagged by my Moulin Rouge-loving sister in Christ and first class suitemate and friend, Vicki!

10 years ago, I was in grade 7 and still driving to Kingston from Ottawa once a month for piano lessons with my dad!

5 years ago, my favourite school subject was physics (what on earth was I thinking!?)

1 year ago, I was enjoying life in Montreal and having my first family Thanksgiving in a place of my own.

Yesterday I was so tired that I couldn’t keep my eyes open to study, but was very challenged at church by a message about “gouging out your eye”, =P.

5 snacks I enjoy: chocolate pudding, chocolate-containing ice-cream, pears, a couple chips, Strub’s full-sour Kosher dills.

5 things I would do with 100 million dollars: take my parents on a trip to Australia (and more!), set aside a trust fund for the education of my future children, fund Christian organizations in international development projects, build a school in a third-world country, acquire a laptop, digital piano, and small compact car.

5 places I would run away to: Ottawa, British Columbia, Gatineau hills, Vicki’s room (help me!) =P, my room (leave me alone!).

5 things I wouldn't be caught dead in: I’ve never really spent any time in thought about that…but perhaps one would be only my undergarments!

5 favourite shows: Lost, CSI, Desperate Housewives (season one), Ayashi no ceres, Magic School Bus

5 bad habits: I eat too often (and not well enough), I get consumed by hair on the floor and it distracts me from doing my work (I must clean the floor first), spending too much time planning for the future, not making my lunch the night before, not keeping in touch well enough with people I care for.

5 biggest joys: Being part of the unfolding of a child’s world, the thrill of the success of a student in a hard task, being able to focus solely on God during musical worship, receiving a revelation from God and following it, getting lost in the moment of an amazing song.

5 favourite toys: Mostly any board game, (childhood – next three) Mrs. Bunny, Ms. Bunny, Floppy Dog, Shubear (current).

Tagging: I will do this later =P

2005-10-03T19:09:00.000-04:00

~ Squash ~

Well, we had a wonderful weekend at Fall Retreat. It was very challenging, and I think the biggest thing I learned was that there are ways to be creative in listening to God. Thanks God! You're awesome! The retreat was also a time of very warm fellowship...it was encouraging to be reminded of how much people care about CCF...and how they long to bring it exactly where Jesus would want it to be. Amen!

I am making a very fancy stuffed squash dish right now...it's in the oven for 10 more minutes. I hope it tastes good...I forgot to add salt =(

I have an interview for an UBER-COOL job tomorrow morning. If anybody reads this in time (although time doesn't matter because God is outside space and time!) please pray for me! I have been following this particular research for the past 5 years, and now I have the chance to contribute to it! It's amazing how God works. I can't wait to talk to the guy tomorrow morning!

That's it...gotta go check on the squash. *fingers are crossed*

God's blessing be with you!

2005-09-04T15:20:00.000-04:00

~ New Beginnings ~

Praise the Lord, I have finally found a Church to keep here in Orleans! How uplifting it is to be part of a community of believers here in my home-town. My new church is called Bilberry Creek Baptist Church (BCBC). The people there are very welcoming and made me feel right at home. I went for the last two weeks, and met some really nice ladies, the pastor, the worship leader, and a few other "College & Career" aged people. I will definitely go back for Thanksgiving. What drew me there was the sermon title the week before I went (From Fear to Faith). Since this was a lesson that I identified very personally to, I felt a call to try it out. The past two messages have been really challenging, especially last week's. He was talking about real worship. A couple of things really struck me. The first was that Satan tries the best he can to distract us from really worshipping God and instead shifting the focus on ourselves. How true...I surely struggle with this (losing all sense of self-awareness every time I worship 0n Sundays). The second was that worship puts our world back into perspective, helps us to see ourselves with "sober judgement", allows us to receive the joy of forgiveness because God doesn't leave us down, and automatically prompts us to serve from a grateful heart. The pastor challenged us and asked us what we thought the world would look like if every churchgoer left the Church every Sunday with their hearts totally fixed on God, realizing that the universe revolves around Him...not us. In Luke 19:37-40 when the Pharisees tell Jesus to quiet his disciples on Palm Sunday, Jesus tells them that if there was nobody to sing praises to God, that the stones on the ground would cry out. What a profound statement! I never really gave it much thought before, but what Jesus is saying is that God doesn't NEED us to worship Him...creation itself does that enough because of His glory. However, God knows that WE NEED worship to center our lives around the only thing that matters...Love. God is love. We were made to worship. What we worship is what we are living for.

What are you living for?

2005-08-03T22:30:00.000-04:00

~ Penguins in da house! ~

Just had a very anticipated evening out with the roommies, Lucie and Vicki, accompanied by our friend Meghan. We went to see March of the Penguins. Really cute movie! You wouldn't believe what a couple of Emperor penguins have to go through just to have a baby! Unbelievable...definitely a feast for the eyes. I've always been nutty about penguins =P

Afterwards we headed over to Second Cup for the $2 Wednesday drink. We had been meaning to do it all term, but this was our first time. Anyways, I was so excited to see that August's monthly drink was Frrrozen Hot Chocolate. Much to my dismay, it was all sold out =( Oh well, there's always next Wednesday.

Speaking of next week, I am jet-setting for PEI in just over a week. It's going to be so awesome! I'll get to see Mom, Dad, and a whole bunch of other people, not least of which are my grandparents who are celebrating their 50th anniversary. Praise God! What an accomplishment =)

Between now and then however, I am hopping with tutoring. I currently am tutoring 5 people in organic chem to prepare them for their CHEM 265 exam next week. I love it! At first, I must say that I was nervous. I love to teach, but never thought I'd be able to teach upper-year stuff. I am very thankful that God gave me this opportunity. It has reaffirmed my choice to pursue teaching, although I'm not sure whether or not God will stick me in a high school or somewhere else. All I know is that whenever I get the chance to teach, even if it's after a full work day, I feel more alive than when I'm doing anything else. Praise God for making my passion so clear to me =)

I pray that He will make your passion just as clear to you! Ciao for now, and find your rest in Him.

2005-08-01T22:17:00.000-04:00

~ Alpha Reunion ~

Very cool juice boxes...and very cool siblings in Christ =D

those who were absent were missed!!...it was a really great time. I think the best part for me was getting to worship God through music together -- fancy style! Each of us has an instrument. Rodney played piano, Alex and Victoria shared the guitar, Chung played the shakSome pics for you from the Alpha Reunion...although only half of the people were there, ander, Gary the drum, and me the triangle. And we all lifted our voices together to praise the Lord. What a wonderful time of fellowship. And FOOD! See for yourself =P

Left: The "Super 8" ounce burgers...yums!
Below: The reunited Alpha members...missing in action -- Mamie, Lillian, Judy, Allison, Erica, Benson, Trevor

2005-07-24T10:17:00.000-04:00

~ The Union of Two ~

Wow! Just got back from a really fun trip to Kingston with my cousins. Paul picked me up Saturday morning at 8 am, and we drove to Ajax to pick up my cousin (his sister) Roberta, and our other cousin Barb. It was a fun car trip full of catching up...we arrived at my Aunt Jacqueline's house just after noon. As we pulled up, I spotted a red motorcycle in the driveway. "I didn't know that Uncle Tony had a motor---" *sees licence plate number and squeals* "---DAD!"

Yeah, so my Dad really surprised me (and everybody else for that matter) by being at Jacqueline's house and then coming to the wedding. It was such a pleasant surprise to see him...definitely icing on the cake!

So, we then went to see our cousin Libby's wedding to Jordan. It was such a beautiful ceremony. God was most definitely there, and I know, even without having ever met Jordan before, that he is definitely the one for Libby!

It was so nice to see everybody again. I realized that I hadn't seen most of my aunts and cousins for over two years! Isn't that awful?

On a completely different note, I got to go back and see my first school, Centennial Public School. This was special for me because I always remembered there being a forest on the playground...now when I say forest, imagine what a thicker treed area would look like in a backyard...full of big rocks to jump on! I went inside and found my favourite rock..."the cloud car" rock. I was a Care Bear maniac when I was a kid, so my Dad quite appropriately coined my forest as "the Forest of Feelings". Thus, one chapter of my childhood has finally been laid to rest.

We slept in Jacqueline and Tony's trailer last night (thanks so much for giving us a place to stay!!). Then we hit the road at 5:15 this morning. Overall, such a nice trip. I'm so happy that I was able to go. Praise God for all He has done to prepare my family for this weekend...in more ways than even I could ever know.

Today's agenda...laundry to do and cake to make! Dessert night is tomorrow night at 6 pm in SLC MPR...be there or be square! =P

May all praise be unto Him, from whom all blessings flow.

2005-06-26T22:50:00.000-04:00

~ Random Info ~

"My farts don't smell like dumplings!!"
- Dave Tse

Fact or fiction? You decide =P Who needs context!

2005-06-20T18:00:00.000-04:00

~ Dreams and visions ~

I am very excited about next term... lately, God has been giving me a little bit of a 'sneak peek' in on what I believe He is calling me to do in CCF next term. And the more I talk about it, the more excited I get!

So indulge me for a paragraph or two...or four! ^_^

So, one of my very deepest passions is telling other people about Jesus. I have always believed that it's one of my spiritual gifts, although perhaps I need a little more in the area of discerning who is ready for the message and who is not! Anyways, working in the seeker ministry in CCF has been a really big blessing, both in learning to cope with attendence difficulties, patience, and even the jubilation of seeing a sister come to Christ! When Alex and I started up the seeker ministry in CCF a couple years ago, I wholeheartedly believed, as I still do, that being God's ministry, it would perpetuate and gather speed as the years went on. However, with the exception of our Alpha group last term, there has been a very low interest in volunteering in this area. I couldn't help but become a little discouraged wondering why more people weren't passionate about helping people come to a place where they can meet with God for the very first time. Why is this?

I believe that there are two reasons. For one, as students we get so caught up with all of our responsibilities that we lose the sense of urgency in this ministry. God has placed people in each of our lives that can ONLY be reached by God through US because of the unique sets of gifts each of us possess. And I truly believe that. But do we as a fellowship believe that? Do we internalize it until we absolutely must move on the issue?

The second reason is that, once this urgency is present, Christians feel intimidated because they feel that they do not posssess the apologetic knowledge base to go out and talk to people. Do we necessarily need to know apologetics? Do, I believe that God will speak through us through our experiences and lifestyle. Are apologetics still valuable? Infinitely!

So how does this tie into where I will serve in CCF? While I feel that any time next term I spend leading a seeker group would be valuable, I feel that God has opened my eyes to a harvest! With a new wave of frosh coming in, and many second years returning, why not instead share my experience, passion, and apologetics with others? CCF needs future leaders! We have reached that critical number...120. If we want to break it the hardest number, we will need more leaders than ever before...people who love God and love this fellowship to step up and take up the torch. As for me, I will obey God and do my part in prepare as many of those future leaders that I can, according to the measure of the abilities that He has given me.

I could use all the help I can get! Please let me know if you have any experiences or knowledge that I could add to this workshop-styled cell group. Currently, I am thinking of having an open format where the fellowship would be informed of the topics before-hand. We would simply pray one week, and learn the next, and alternate back and forth. If you feel God calling you to get involved, please email me at joyfuljangle@gmail.com!

Are you ready to rumble!?

2005-06-01T23:51:00.000-04:00

~ Message? ~

I'm really tired right now because I had a fitful sleep last night. I have extremely vivid dreams, whether or not they're good or bad. Often, both nightmares and good dreams leave me equally tired out because they are so detailed and intense. Anyways, had a nightmare last night that I was being agressively pursued by a cult that was trying to "recruit me". They sent me money when I was in deep financial need...money I had prayed for. It was a lot too...at first I was thankful, before I knew the source. I tried to give it back...Not delving into details, I basically couldn't escape them because they practiced divination, and even if I joined the witness protection program, they would still know where I was at all times.

I woke up with an erie feeling. Lots of my dreams have very specific messages. I can't figure out if this was information processing, but I just feel that it wasn't. I don't know whether or not God was trying to point out to me the spiritual battles being fought, invisible and unseen all around me. Or perhaps the dream is a warning of hard trials to come. What kind of trials? Financial? Testing of integrity? Something more?

I guess I take it kind of seriously because in the past week, I have been hearing more heartbreaking stories about cancer all at once than any other time in my life...and it's not just me! And least four of my friends have off-handedly made a comment that they each know three people who have either died or just been diagnosed with cancer within the last week.

I guess all I can do is pray...for the message...and for those lives ravaged by cancer. To all of you reading who have been recently touched by the effects of cancer around you, I am praying for you!

Continually decifering...
MJ

2005-05-25T20:32:00.000-04:00

~ Woot! ~

Three cheers for internet! ^_^ A special thanks to Waiki for making me a 50-ft ethernet cable so I could connect to our router.

So, many weeks essentially internetless, but I'm still alive. Yes, yes, the Lord provides! Hahaha... So, not much substance to this posts or deep ponderings into the meaning of life, but I will fill you in on the last few weeks best I can...

So exams finished up on the last possible day of exams as usual. They all went rather smoothly with the exception of organic chemistry (Chem 360). I've never had such an intense mixture of angry and sad feelings swirling around inside me after writing an exam. All the girls were crying, and the guys were just laughing. It was a slaughter if there ever was one. I found out later that I ended up getting the high mark in the class....a 57%!! Can you believe it? Needless to say, it was bell-curved (hugely) and my marks were saved =P All in all though, I found a lot of educational value in the course, so if anything, I will measure the class by that instead of the evaluation.

My week back home in Ottawa was really really nice. It was the first time back home that didn't fly by. It was so refreshing to have time move at exactly the speed I wished it to! Definitely a blessing...almost as if God slowed time down so I could recharge for the new term...

So, Vicki, Lucie and I are all set up in our new home, B3-12! I must say that it looks pretty nice, and living in the living room is much more comfortable and less "exotic and adventurous" than I thought it would be! Lol...blame it on my 7-year old's imagination! Anyways, I've had no trouble with noise, and Lucie's bed is so comfy!! (Thanks Luce, you're a life-saver!). CCF is great this term...I really feel pumped up about the vision. We're focussing on the Kingdom of God and what place CCF and our own lives have as part of the bigger picture. I'm excited to see God working through new ideas and new ministries.

Vicki, Lucie and I also started up a weekly movie night. It gives us full COW credit so we don't have to do chores. It's a nice way to spend Thursday nights, although the turn-out hasn't been stellar to say the least. I'm hoping that more people will come out as the term progresses.

Work is going great. I'm working with a couple of naphthoquinones and basically shooting a laser beam at them under different conditions and watching what happens! Every Friday we have a group meeting where one of us presents new research from a recent journal article. Mine is this Friday. Prayers can't hurt! ^_~

I'm sure there's more to say, but Vicki just walked in, so I'm going to go =) Blessings always!

2005-05-10T17:59:00.000-04:00

No internet at home...will update again shortly =)

God bless!

2005-04-20T01:45:00.000-04:00

~Packing Up~

Well, here I am all by my lonesome (well...I must not disclude Jesus!) here in Eby 605. Had an unexpected study spurt between 11:30 pm and now, which is 1:45 am. Hooray! Finally making some progress =)

Anyways, tomorrow I'm moving my stuff over to WCRI with the help of my cousin Paul! Exciting! So, Mr. Computer will be packed up in the morning, hence making this my final broadcast from the beloved Eby suite.

Memory of the moment: Copious amounts of apples! ^_^

God bless you in exams, work, or play. Whatever you're doing, do it for Him!

Peace out Eby 605!

2005-04-16T11:31:00.000-04:00

~Parting is such sweet sorrow~

Well, just finished my music exam, which went really well. I was afraid of it because I haven't focussed like I should have...perhaps because it is my elective and I'm not used to history-type memory work anymore. In any case, the format was a bit weird, but I think I got most of it. The best part was a 10 point bonus section (the exam is on 100 points!). I enjoyed being able to express my opinion on the music that I enjoyed most during this course, although as I kept writing, I wanted to write about more and more genres. Alas, I kept it down to two ^_^

So, I walked out and said goodbye to an awesome course that has further pryed open the musical boundaries of my mind.

Victoria is moving out today =( It seems to put a certain finality on the term. Living with Vicki and Mimi this term has been so awesome! We've had more fun than I can describe, and for all the hype I pumped myself with in preparation for this term, for once I was not disappointed. Thank you guys for making our home truly a HOME! A place where we can laugh and cry together...and mull over life's challenges and triumphs with a good ol'fashioned mug of HK milk tea. Will remember this term fondly...

It would be all twice as sad if not for living in WCRI next term with Vicki and Lucie!! Haha! More videos and homemovies to come!

End of the term also marks when the streams at UW switch...so many brothers and sisters that are either graduating or gone away for co-op. I'm certainly going to miss the people that have had such an integral part in challenging me and helping me grow closer to God. However, I will not limit God's power and look forward to the new bonds that will be made this summer with the "off-streamers"...of whom I know remarkably few!

Still unable to sleep at night because I keep rearranging where I'm going to put my bed in the WCRI living room. Aiya... =P

God bless as exams come barelling to a finish.

2005-04-13T22:31:00.001-04:00

Thought I should take better advantage of Hello...don't use it nearly as much as I should!

Well, today I started packing my stuff up for moving over to WCRI =D I'll miss Eby though... not only is it actually a nice and quiet place to live (and so close it makes my heart skip a beat!), but the times that we've shared in such a short time are enough to fill up a book.

Anyways, today as I was getting "in the zone" to study for music, I did a few quizzes. They're listed below along with results:

What gender is your brain?
[67% female, 33% male]

What age will you live until?
[ age 91]

What is your inner European?
[Italian] lol, one of the few countries I don't have blood from!

Are you an A-type personality?
[ You are B+...easy going yet get things done]

What kind of intelligence do you have?
[Dominant Intelligence: Linguistic] apparently, this makes me ideally suited to be a teacher =P

What side of your brain do you think with?
[65% left, 35% right]

What is your detective name?
[Fox St. Peter]

What is your soap opera name?
[Joy Northlands]....that's Northlandenburgen to you!!

Until next time, this is Fox St. Peter, signing off!

2005-04-11T15:13:00.000-04:00

~Ups and Dows ^_^~

Ups:

- I got my NSERC grant (hooray!); this means that I am not unemployed, and I get to enjoy beautiful Waterloo weather with no homework, as well as get some very valuable organic chemistry experience. Thank you to everybody who prayed for me =)

- A place to live for next term! (place check-mark beside "Live at Lillian's") Haha, it will be my very first time living in a living room. I'm actually quite excited about it. I think it will be a really cool story to tell my kids when they're in high school (lol, how cool am I?)

- Physical biochemistry exam went well despite me not quite being prepared for it. I'm really thankful that I've pretty much enjoyed all my classes this term, and even in moments when I didn't, I could always see educational value in what I was learning. Thank you God for the positive attitude change from past terms!

- AWESOME Dim Sum last week with the Alpha group...so yummy, and excellent time with friends =)

- The weather is absolutely gorgeous right now and I'm really enjoying the sunshine.

- Really looking forward to serving in CCF next term
___

Downs:

- Exam today didn't go so great...I thought I was prepared, but many of the questions caught me off-guard. I don't think this course will be belled either because the class in general is doing very well (midterms were amazing...can be thankful for that!)

- Laundry fiasco today (ask in person ^_^). Oh well, at least I got good studying done.

- Jitters for tomorrow's exam...advanced cell biology (but really really cool stuff I'm learning about)

- I can't seem to go a day lately without a nap. I am finding this a little bit distressing. I am planning a physical fitness regime for the summer that will perhaps give me more energy.

- Just read a friend's blog and found the content very distressing... didn't realize that she is in the situation she is in. Please pray for God to reveal himself in a very big way to her!

That is the update for now =) Keep checking back for more random thoughts...

2005-04-02T20:32:00.000-05:00

2 days of classes to go... a picture for you ^_^

~Ends and Finals~

I think that "finals" is a very appropriate term for exams...because it is also the time when many other activities come to an end. For example, this week, we had our last Alpha of the term, and our last official CCF program. I know I say it every term, but I absolutely can't believe how fast it's gone! I'm not ready to say goodbye to gourmet Thursday night meals or my L-shaped room in Eby =O Haha, but seriously, it seems like life barrels forward and you have the choice to live in the past or embrace the present. I choose to embrace the present, but man, there are just some things I don't want to let go of! That's where faith comes in...faith that God's plan for our lives is ALIVE and MOVING...and even though I still feel like yesterday I was a frosh and now I'm somehow half-way done third year, I am excited to see how God has been shaping lives (mine and others around me), how his Spirit is moving among people on this campus, how He pulls different people together and you find out why later, and finally, what is to come! A part of me never wants to grow up...to go away from this place that I've grown to love so much...the people that have meant so much in my walk with God... (look at me, the melodramatic...graduating in 2 years and already mourning, haha!), but the other part of me seems to almost be seeing the world as if for the very first time, through brand-new "Spirit-glasses". Here's thanks to God for a wonderful term!

2005-03-25T16:03:00.000-05:00

~Many Congratulations!~

Congratulations to JT and Johnny on your baptisms! Thank you for sharing your declaration of faith with all of us!

Happy birthday to Alexis! I hope being 23 treats you well, and that God will lead you on exciting adventures in your life post-Waterloo.

My parents are coming VERY soon! Yay!! I'm really looking forward to seeing them...they have never been up to Waterloo just for fun, and I'm so glad that we will be spending Easter together. It's also a beautiful sunny day and a wonderful time to be in K-W. Praise be to God for helping Mom get over her flu! Now we can all enjoy our time together to the fullest extent =)

To the loyal readers of this blog, I wish you a reflective, thankful, and joyous Easter as we celebrate what Jesus did for each one of us so many years ago... God bless!

2005-03-19T22:21:00.000-05:00

~Delerious~

What can I say...I am just utterly and simply, deleriously thankful and overflowing with joy. Why? My cup has been filled! For today, I have seen the Holy Spirit moving mountains in peoples' lives! What an awesome God we have, who cares about us so much that if we could even understand one millionth of the love he has for us, our heads would simply explode. I already feel like my head's going to explode...I am so...what can I say? Pumped? Burning with passion? Fullfilled yet hungry for more?

I could write and write about what the Alpha sleepover was like this weekend...about the great talks, the informative videos, the bonds that were made and the friendships that were deepened....about the hilarious comments and skits on modified Bible stories, making me laugh the hardest I have in a while....about the prayer and the peace in knowing that God was with us...Emmanuel...but right now, I think that I don't have words to express or summarize the joy I feel inside my heart right now.

Abba, Father in Heaven,
I have been a Christian all my life, yet you never cease to blow me away, and I know you never will. How exciting it is to be in the service of the King! Not only that, but to be called your daughter. Lord, I thank you for filling us up today, with the joy, peace, faith, and presence of your Holy Spirit, who works wonders and transforms lives into beautiful works of art. Oh Lord, if only the whole world could know the joy of spending life with you! If only the whole world could experience how real you are, and see the miracles and love that you shower your children with. Tonight, I thank you for every person in our Alpha group. Thank you for creating a place where talking about you is not taboo but is the most natural thing in the world...because our relationship with you is the most natural thing in the world. Thank you for the joy that you share with me when I have answered your call...Lord, don't let anything hinder the lines of communication between me and you. I always want to hear what you have to say...and make me willing to always do what you want me to do as well. For better is one day in your house than a thousand elsewhere, Emmanuel.

In Jesus name I pray,
Amen

2005-03-16T10:30:00.000-05:00

~The End or the Beginning?~

The Monday I got back to Waterloo from reading week, my friend Lucie casually mentioned how our biology 331 term lab report was due the week of March 14th.....I had totally forgotten about it being due so soon! Needless to say, I flipped out. The only thought running through my head was, "I'm going to die! This is the end!"

You see, I was already mentally gearing up for two weeks of a life that would not be my own =P The first week, I had a midterm, a journal-style lab due and two assignments, one of which took me around 10 hours to do. The next week I had three midterms, some dealing with material I had no clue about, and this was closely followed by another journal-style lab...now add this term report on top of things? No way!

Another thing was my baptism. I knew that this was a step that MUST be taken now, because I had been putting it off much much too long. And yet, somehow I had to write down my Life Story, prepare Alpha notes, attend a baptism class....my head was spinning just thinking about it.

Now here it is: March 16th. This is the ill-fated day when my biology 331 lab is due, in less than 4 hours. And here I am, calmly eating breakfast and writing this blog entry. How is this possible, you may ask?

Truly, God came through for me in a big way, supporting me every step of the way these past two weeks. In a way, I am very grateful I had to go through this. Through it all (except for my initial freak-out), I never felt stressed about the humungous load I was carrying...because it wasn't ME who was carrying it, but God who kept re-filling me up on His Holy Spirit. He helped me overcome the tiredness that accompanied my sickness...and I got even more than I bargained for. Not only did I get through it, unscathed and unstressed, but it feels like God has helped me retrieve the focus that I thought I lost when I came to university.

There is so much to be grateful for! Besides this miracle in my life, I am thankful for the opportunity to get baptized at Community fellowship, with so many friends to encourage me, my cousin and his wife who came to our church for the first time, and watching God speak to other people who came to watch through the service! Indeed, we serve a living God...a God who heals! I don't know how many of you reading know about Mrs. Armstrong? Well I have some super-duper news for you! Keep up your praying because her bone marrow transplat was cancelled!! Why? Because she suddenly and unexplainably started responding positively to the chemotherapy. Praise God for surrounding this family with His love!

So, is this the end or a new beginning? I see today as a day FULL of new beginnings...of new-found focus, new found miracles, new adventures in sharing God's love. Maybe today be a day of new beginnings for you as well!

2005-03-11T21:45:00.000-05:00

Alas...couldn't help myself =) Feel free to copy your own into your own blogs...

THREE NAMES YOU GO BY:
1. Marianne
2. Mari-J
3. MJ

THREE SCREENNAMES YOU HAVE HAD:
1. JoyfulJangle
2. MJ_Rhapsody
3. mhepples

THREE THINGS YOU LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. The joy in my life from knowing Jesus
2. I love to teach and am comfortable speaking in front of crowds
3. My ability to express myself by playing the piano

THREE THINGS YOU DON'T LIKE ABOUT YOURSELF:
1. Sometimes I don’t listen as much as I should
2. I find my own voice rather annoying!
3. How I need so much more sleep than other people

THREE THINGS YOU ARE PICKY ABOUT:
1. Floors…must be clean and void of hair
2. Dust…not good for my asthma
3. Dental hygiene (oh dear…I see a theme!)

THREE PARTS OF YOUR HERITAGE:
1. Canadian
2. Scottish/Irish/English
3. French

THREE THINGS THAT SCARE YOU:
1. The beheadings in the Middle East
2. Climate change – it is scary how caught up people are with their own lifestyles, including myself.
3. My friends not getting a chance to know Jesus.

THREE OF YOUR EVERYDAY ESSENTIALS:
1. Sleep
2. Vector
3. My daily bread =)

THREE THINGS YOU ARE WEARING RIGHT NOW:
1. PJ top
2. PJ bottoms
3. Glasses

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE BANDS/ARTISTS (why only 3?!?):
1. dc Talk
2. Switchfoot
3. Yoko Kanno

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE SONGS (I can't choose only 3... so I'll list my current faves – dido that, Vicki!):
1. "Redemption" - Switchfoot
2. "My Little Flower" – Yoko Kanno
3. "Filled with your Glory" - Starfield

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO TRY IN THE NEXT YEAR:
1. Alligator fingers with Vicki!
2. Fasting for God and not related to 30-hour famine
3. Baptism! (not really “try”, but come out to CFC this Sunday at 10:15 am!)

THREE THINGS YOU WANT IN A RELATIONSHIP:
1. God to be in the centre of it – very well said Vicki
2. To each be selfless
3. Very open communication and good conflict resolution

TWO TRUTHS AND A LIE:
1. I really should be doing a lab right now…
2. I have been to Lord of the Dance
3. I ride my bike in the snow

THREE PHYSICAL THINGS THAT APPEAL TO YOU ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX:
1. Smile
2. Eyes
3. I don’t know…this is awkward!

THREE THINGS YOU JUST CAN'T DO:
1. Chin-ups
2. Aim while throwing
3. Stop liking chocolate ^_^

THREE OF YOUR FAVORITE HOBBIES:
1. music, music, music!! (piano and dancing)
2. Movies
3. Board games with friends

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO BE DOING REALLY BADLY RIGHT NOW:
1. Celebrating after having finished my mega-lab
2. Playing board games with my friends
3. Eating ice cream

THREE CAREERS YOU ARE CONSIDERING:
1. Being a high school bio/chem teacher
2. Teaching in international schools oversees
3. Motivative speaker??

THREE PLACES YOU WANT TO GO ON VACATION:
1. Asia! (Japan, China, and Hong Kong mostly)
2. Australia!
3. British Columbia

THREE KIDS NAMES:
1. Mila
2. Caleb
3. Elijah

THREE THINGS YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE:
1. See my close high school friends come to Christ
2. Get married and have a family
3. Accomplish the purpose that God has set out for me

THREE WAYS YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A BOY:
1. I have shorter hair than most girls =P
2. I loved Ninja Turtles growing up
3. I drive manual transmission (it said “stereotypical!)

THREE WAYS YOU ARE STEREOTYPICALLY A CHICK:
1. I cry very easily in movies
2. I love flannel PJ’s with stars and animals on them
3. I am utterly and hopelessly addicted to chocolate

THREE CELEBRITY CRUSHES:
1. Orlando Bloom
2. ………….Jet Li……. (don’t laugh at me!)
3. I had a crush on Aladdin growing up…does that count?

Also...

You are a sock.

You are a cozy, fuzzy, warm-hearted person. A lot of your friends describe you as a hopeless romantic. You fall for the opposite sex very easily. But be careful, because usually you don't know what you are getting into, and because you are very sensitive, you can get hurt... especially in early relationships. Also, don't exclude the cold-hearted from your "want-list", because they just might be looking for a kind person to warm up their heart.... or a sock to warm up their feet.

Most compatible with: Toilet Paper.

Click here -- What Random Object Represents Your Inner Self?

2005-03-10T10:48:00.000-05:00

~Baptism~

Hello one and all! This is a special invitation to any readers in Waterloo to attend my baptism! It will be THIS SUNDAY at Community Fellowship Church (www.communityfellowship.org) at the 10:15 am service. That is the second service =)

I hope that you will be able to come out and celebrate this day with me!

2005-03-05T21:08:00.000-05:00

Just for interest... ^_^

You Are 26 Years Old

26

Under 12: You are a kid at heart. You still have an optimistic life view - and you look at the world with awe.

13-19: You are a teenager at heart. You question authority and are still trying to find your place in this world.

20-29: You are a twentysomething at heart. You feel excited about what's to come... love, work, and new experiences.

30-39: You are a thirtysomething at heart. You've had a taste of success and true love, but you want more!

40+: You are a mature adult. You've been through most of the ups and downs of life already. Now you get to sit back and relax.

What Age Do You Act?

2005-02-24T11:08:00.000-05:00

~O-Town Update~

Helloooo! ^_^ I apologize for not updating last week since I was very sick and in bed for three days straight. Believe me, I would have much rather been updating my blog than sick as a dog...but, on an up-note, the doctor gave me a new asthma puffer, and I stopped coughing almost instantly!

I am home in O-Town for reading week and really enjoying myself. Saturday night everybody was over at Amanda's...I'm really happy I got to see her since her reading week was just ending. The next night I went to Carp with Sarah for a delicious spaghetti and meatball dinner (mmmm....). It was really cool because they had 10 deer at a time in their backyard! I always thought that deer were very peaceful creatures, but apparently not when there's a limited supply of food ^_^

Monday and Tuesday were lazy days...I had a nice time just puttering around the house, getting my lab mostly done, and spending some quality time with Mom and Dad. Dad and I invented a new variation of backgammon...it's very confusing. Hence, we dubbed it "Criss-cross Mensa Gammon". Perhaps we shall make some money off this idea... :o)

Yesterday Mart and Sarah and I went to St. Laurent and shopped around. It was a nice sort of relaxing kind of shopping...not the sort that makes you want to sleep for a couple months. Mart very generously picked me up the "Moulin Rouge" soundtrack I've been wanted to buy for a couple years. Thanks so much Mart! Now I can dance around my room to Roxanne anytime I want ^_^

Today I plan to go see my highschool teachers...I have lots to tell Mrs. Schreider!! So I had better go get ready....

On a side note, I am reading through the book of Numbers for the first time, and you know, it's really not too bad! I expected it to be chapters and chapters of lists and embarked upon reading it to "find meaning" in the lists. What I've found is some stories that are actually quite interesting and show that no matter how many signs God gives us, people still refuse to have faith. Apparently seeing isn't believing. I wonder how that must make God feel...

All you on reading week, have a good one!

2005-02-12T08:18:00.000-05:00

~And now for something completely different~

My Dad entered this radio contest on CFRA in Ottawa for the best "Lover" or "Loser" Valentine's Day story. Dad has a really hilarious story that I remember quite clearly...I'll send it to you upon request ^_^ Anyhow, the story is quite hilarious (it's a "loser" story) and he entered it in. And he won! A $100 shopping spree at the mall and brunch for two at a nice restaurant. Then, there was a judge who gave out a grand prize just yesterday...and he won that too!! That is for a $1000 shopping spree and a weekend at a spa/resort for two!!! This is for the guy who's "never won anything". Hahaha! Good job Dad! (The story is truly hilarious...you should read it for yourselves).

Well, just waiting for Alex to drop by and chilling to some jazz while I wait. Did I ever mention how much I LOVE jazz lately?? Good stuff! Look up Django Reinhardt if you want to hear some REALLY cool stuff that was happening over in Europe during the American swing era.

2005-02-06T20:52:00.000-05:00

~Trees~

Random thought of the day... at church, we were learning about the Trinity, and Pastor Ken was talking about the unity of the Trinity and the perfect love that God experiences within it. Thus, He doesn't need us...He created us to love us.

This took me a while to understand in my Christian walk, but all of this I knew. It was something else Pastor Ken said...

He said "Can you imagine how it must have felt to God when people rejected the plan he was so excited about? To share perfect love with people! But love is a choice, so God put the tree in the middle of the Garden and said, 'You can choose me or the tree'...and they chose the tree."

How silly! Don't you think? Choosing a tree over the best opportunity that humanity has...

Yes, how silly...

How many trees have I chosen instead of God in my life? In the last year? In the last month? In the last week?

How silly...to choose a tree over God.

Dear Lord, Jesus. You who were tempted for 40 days and know how it feels...you know how we don't always see the silliness in our choices. Other times we do...Jesus, show me how to see the trees when they are obscured by poor judgement. Please help me not to choose the tree, whatever form it may take at any given moment. Thank you for your love, Lord. May my choices not cut your heart. All I want is to love like you do...I don't need trees.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

2005-02-06T01:34:00.000-05:00

Meet my new pet! =D

2005-02-05T11:16:00.000-05:00

~Peace~

What a hectic week! I had two midterms, one of which went really well, and the other...well...let's just say that I'm glad it's over ^_~

But what plagued my mind earlier this week was not my midterms but the issue of outreach in CCF. As a committee, we accidentally missed a very important step in the implementation of our new model. The consent of the members. Needless to say, we did a good job causing a rucus =P But, I believe that the struggle over this issue was a big growing opportunity for everybody involved. After our first meeting, which was very confrontational, I felt sick and empty inside...on the verge of tears. We held a second members meeting two days later, and decided to scrap all previous models we had thought of, and as a fellowship, start from scratch. That meant defining our purpose for outreach, defining questions we need to address together and prioritizing them, defining who (specifically) we want to reach, what the Good News is, how we can encourage and equip members to adopt evangelism as a lifestyle, and finally, according to all our ideas, what the best approach to an evangelical event would be.

Praise God for He is faithful and listens to our prayers! God did not let us continue to be divided, but united us behind one common goal...and one idea! We prayed for unity, but I must say that we didn't expect the final vote for the event in question to be unanimously in favour! What an awesome God! I'm so thankful that He has healed our fellowship and brought peace into our hearts once again. And the idea that we came up with collectively is so much better than what we could come up with a smaller group.

So, the idea will be drafted up by the visioning committee for the event, and presented as a proposal before the entire fellowship, and then we'll go from there.

Perhaps what touched me the most out of the experience is how many people (and frosh!) showed up for these two meetings. I've been out to members meetings in the past, and there usually aren't many people who make it out. I guess this was a sign to me of the genuine love for the fellowship that our members carry in their hearts, and their passion to help in defining the best way it can function. As long as we have people like this in CCF, God will always be able to use us a light on campus.

We had our second Alpha meeting this week, and I think it went pretty well. Getting a projector was a story and a half! =P Ask me about that one in person!

Well, today I am confined here to work on my lab report while the rest of CCF is at the Winter Retreat. I'm dissappointed that I wasn't able to go, especially after how hard I worked to get my stuff done before the weekend. But I trust that God closes the doors that we are not meant to walk through, no matter how hard we yank at the door handle. May as well not waste my energy getting through a door that God has sealed to me! =D

Have a blessed weekend, wherever you are, and whatever you are doing <><

2005-01-22T11:20:00.000-05:00

~Re-fill~

Last night at CCF was great...it was great because God is awesome. I arrived at CCF very tired, both in mind and body. I was happy to be there but felt a sense of "disconnect" from the huge crowd...in one of those rare moods (for me at least) that I just want to walk around campus aimlessly and pray by myself.

As a side-note, I had a wonderful 3-hour conversation with Vicki last night in the wee hours that made a lot of things clear...it's so great to have a friend like that who I can share with openly, and who will share back equally open. Thanks Vicki! In rambling last night, I realized that university has really taught me to think, and that I was never a "thinking person" in high school...school for me involved virtually no thinking, but here, I mysteriously started spending more time in reflection about philisophical things - which weirded me out, because hey! All those tests say I'm 100% extroverted! I certainly don't think that's true anymore...

Anyhow, back to last night, and me in my "introverted mood". We had a Bible study about revelation from God. It became apparent to me why Jesus was often so cryptic in his teachings...because He understands how people work. They want to figure things out...even NEED to figure things out for themselves. But they can't figure out Absolute Truth on their own. So he gives them something to chew on, and they can come to a place where they are vulnerable to the Holy Spirit, who reveals to them the Truth.

I know this may seem elementary to some, and I knew most of this already, but to have it articulated so succinctly made me understand one more trait of Jesus that had previously confused me (i.e. "Then he told them not to tell anyone he was the Christ"). And so, I can once again tick off an item on my prayer list -- that in studying His word last night, that I would learn something important.

It's so cool! That's why I could read a passage in the Bible and it will sometimes only 'click' after reading it over a couple years later...because the Spirit has His timing, even with what He wants us to understand.

Wow....

2005-01-17T23:24:00.000-05:00

~Happy Birthday Sarah~

A note for happiness and blessings today on Sarah's 22nd birthday. Miss ya Sarah, watashi no (awesome) tomodachi desu yo.

I guess I'm overdue for a bit of an update. I have been fighting a cold for over 2 weeks and it finally took over Saturday night after the Alpha conference (which was so helpful by the way!...and so nice to eat dinner with Alex, Jenny, and Yu-Ling). So, I was knocked off my feet for Sunday and slept a good 75% of the day. It was the first time I actually felt rested since before Christmas holidays. Everything happens for a reason...I'm actually quite thankful I got sick to help me re-coup from moving and Christmas travels =)

I know, I'm a weirdo!

Random thoughts of the moment...

- Thankful for my Mom and Dad
- Alpha is going to be really exciting...I know that God will do amazing things!
- Thank you to Helen for the vitamins!
- Need to start chapter questions in physical biochemistry
- Loving jazz class!
- Wishing I could join so many cell groups this term!
- Learning so much serving in CCF and happy knowing that I am where God wants me to be
- Praying hard about fishing!
- Wondering how Noella and Aimee are doing...
- Thinking about and missing the Bible Study girls in Montreal..."Jesus Goggles", Croquette, BAMMM!!!
- Adoring the proximity of home to class! (and friends ^_^ )
- Enjoying the best time with two GREAT roommates (oh how long we waited Victoria!)
- Happy birthday Sarah!

Better go pick up my laundry! Peace be with you =)

2005-01-02T23:28:00.000-05:00

~My Second Home~

So here I am, back in Waterloo once again for another term of hard work and hard play! Quite frankly, I feel very grateful to be here at all...the weather today was so atrocious and slippery that Dad and I were almost hit by a couple of cars who couldn't stop on the highway, and we came upon around 10 accidents only a minute or two after each occurred. I am thankful that my Dad is such a good driver...if I was driving, we would have been one of the poor souls in the ditch!

So, I have my room all looked after. I was very pleasently surprised upon my arrival at UWP...they renovated! It's so much nicer than that time Victoria and I snuck in for a peak. It's so perfect now! Not only am I much closer to everything, but the digs are pretty nice as well.

A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all! I hope that this Christmas brought each of you one step closer to the image of Christ! Now time for sleep...

2004-12-21T22:59:00.000-05:00

~The Four Cities~

Gahhh!! I apologize for the SEVERE lack of updates =P My life has been very hectic lately, with the move from Montreal. Right now I feel like I'm in four cities at once...Montreal, Ottawa (transition), Nova Scotia (Vacation) and finally Waterloo (yahoo!!). Even more scattered than my head right now is all my stuff around the house. Piles to unpack, piles to pack for Waterloo, piles packed for Nova Scotia...piles here there and everywhere!

In all the hustle and bustle, I apologize for the late Christmas cards...also the absent Christmas cards to some. I bought them a while ago, but with only three days until Christmas, I see no way I can get them all out in time, so for some people I will be resorting to email (so sorry!).

News in my life... I got my G!!!!! Score! I don't have to spend $75 for a re-test. I thank God for keeping me safe and giving me good experience with driving to Montreal and stuff, and of course to my Dad, who sacrificed A LOT of time to drive with me (ie: to Montreal!). Thanks to both my Dads! =D

In other news, I got new boots with a gift certificate that I won from Merck Frosst in a draw. I really needed new boots because my old ones leaked and got my feet wet. I am really thankful for God providing the money I needed to buy them. He really does look after even the small things in life and I'm so grateful ^_^

Well, we're jet-setting off to good Ole Nova Scotia on Christmas Eve. I may not get a chance to write until I'm back in Loo. So, just in case, a Merry Christmas to my couple of readers (hahaha!) as you celebrate the birth of our LORD and Saviour!

P.S. Thank you so much Vicki for the gifts! Mmmmm....wo "love the" cha "and the book" =D (Card on the way....)

2004-11-30T22:30:00.000-05:00

~Survey~

Well...officially 21 for three minutes. All I can say is, it's about time! ^_~ It feels like I've been 20 for five years, which most likely has something to do with living in three cities in the span of one year, and part time in a fourth.

Anyhow, I am a bit late posting this, but I did a survey sort of fun thing in Yu-Ling's blog, and part of the deal is that I must also post this in my blog:

(A) First, recommend to me:
1. a movie:
2. a book:
3. a musical artist, song, or album:

(B) I want everyone who reads this to ask me three questions, no more, no less. Ask me anything you want.

(C) Then I want you to go to your journal, copy and paste this allowing your friends to ask you anything.

A couple of shouts out, for a very happy birthday to my cousins Andrea and Justin! (They're growing up so fast!!) And a happy early birthday to the one and only Elusive Miss D. Dawner Dawn Dawn =) The digits in your age both match...that only happens once every 11 years ;)

Thanks again to all who sent cards or emailed me today and over the past week...I know people always say it's the little things that mean the most, but rest assured that when I say such a thing, I truly mean it! Thank you so much =)

I hope that as each of you gears up into final exam mode or into work report mode, or wherever else God has placed you in life, that He will be with you...like He always is!

2004-11-17T22:18:00.000-05:00

~Excerpts from the Crazy Lady~

So I was on the phone tonight to Victoria, and we had an interesting conversation...which I'm sure if she was not already convinced I am insane, she now is...hahaha!

Anyways, it started with phone numbers...

me: Hey, do you know your rez number for next term yet?
vic: No, I'll check on that
me: yeah, cuz mine's similar to my boss's extension...same numbers
vic: that's weird! My extension is 2124
me: both very nice numbers...21 and 24
vic: nice numbers?
me: yeah, they're pretty...mostly, I like multiples of three. Don't you have favourite numbers?
vic: no, not really
me: none at all!? Not even 27!?
vic: *laughs* no
me: well, what would you say if I said...."nine-teen"??
vic: uh, well, it's a nice age?
me: no, the number itself!
vic: nothing besides the age
me: but it's such an ugly number!
vic: you're weird!
me: I know that...but "nine-teen"...it's just so...ugh! Like 29! Or 73!
vic: but that has a three in it
me: but it's not a multiple of three
....more number discussion...
vic: I think more about words, or rather, word combinations
me: oh yeah? Like what?
vic: rain fall...most of them are poem titles
me: such as?
vic: (what I heard) The Grave of Saul
me: the WHAT?
vic: (what I heard) The Grave of Saul
me: The "grave of Saul"
...much laughing...

My lovely ears did it again! It's not that I don't listen...I think that there is actually something wrong with my auditory skills. Anyways, I know it's a bunch of nonsense, but I thought for memory preservation purposes, I would post it!

By the way, she said "The greys of fall" ^_~

2004-11-02T21:20:00.000-05:00

~ Birthday! ~

Happy happy birthday to dearest Victoria M.... and now, in honour of this occasion, an ode:

To Vicki,
My genuine and loving friend,
My sister in Christ,
My Wednesday night phone call buddy,
My soon-to-be housemate,
My fellow Switchfoot lover,
A fan of TV's most angsty offerings,
A supporter in prayer,
An encourager and a giver,
And very importantly....
My Hong Kong milk tea dealer! ^_~

Have a well-deserved wonderful day Victoria! Looking forward to 'Loo =)

2004-10-31T18:47:00.000-05:00

~ The Wimped-out Wimp ~

Wow...I must apologize to anybody who actually reads this...I completely forgot about my blog lately!! Sorry =(

Okay, so I am self-declaring myself as a "wimped-out wimp"...what is that do you ask? I am a wimp who is tired of being a wimp! Praise GOD!! HE has been so gracious to me. HE has transformed my very inner being...and let me tell you, it might have happened very quickly, but HE has working on me for about 15 years up to the climax point. You may know that I have been plagued with fear throughout my life. Maybe it's just my perception of others, but I do believe that in the past, I have been more crippled and controlled by my fears than the majority of people...but I could be wrong. In any case, after a series of events occurred and culminated last term (ask in person), GOD went "BAM!" and gave me absolutely no choice but face all the fears I've been running from my whole life all at once. It made me understand that following verse:

Get yourself ready! Stand up and say to them whatever I command you. Do not be terrified by them, or I will terrify you before them.
~Jeremiah 1:17

Did GOD ever terrify me!! But it worked, and from the inside out, God began to liberate me from the prison I had created for myself. For the first time in my life, I began to experience a new part of the freedom that God offers to His children, bought with the blood of Jesus.

Flash forward: I went to see the movie "Ju-on: The Grudge" last weekend...a friend of mine really wanted to see it, so I went along to the cheapie theatre. I shouldn't have! I've never been so scared by a movie! When I get scared, I tremble. When we walked out to my car in the cold night, I was shaking in my boots, wondering how I could possibly drive. I went for a scare, and a scare is certainly what I got! The first night was full of nightmares. I woke up very early in the morning and fell back asleep, to get lost in another round of restless sleep. I was running...running away...as usual, yes, run...that's what I always do in dreams....run, run...but wait, I'm tired of running...tired of being afraid. I was in an old sort of castle and spun around in my dream on my predator. Again I ran...but this time, I ran right at it! I ran it straight out of the room, down the stairs, out of sight!

Why am I telling you about a silly dream? Because I want to share with you God's amazing power...his power of transformation, to change a person even to the level of their subconscious...of their very nature. You see, I have never in my dreaming life confronted an enemy. All of those sleepless childhood years I spent running away. I believe that the dreams of the subconscious are a window allowing a person to see into their own psychie. And what I saw in this dream was a changed person...a person who handed in their running shoes to God and told Him to never give them back.

May you also experience the wonderful liberation from your own prisons, whether they be fear, doubt, guilt, anger, hate, bitterness...you name it! God WILL change you...sooner or later, with or without your cooperation. I suggest you cooperate, or HE will terrify you, like He did to me!!

2004-10-12T19:25:00.000-04:00

~ A Thanksgiving to Remember ~

This year was the very first year I have spent a Thanksgiving dinner anywhere other than my parents house. This year, the roles were reversed, with my parents guests in my humble abode...well, almost reversed (Dad still did the cooking!). Dinner was delicious, with Dad having prepared the turkey ahead of time due to the fact that I have a square foot of counter space.

Besides my parents and myself, a family friend (Jonas)and my neighbour from across the hall (Jim) also joined us. It was quite a tricky maneuver fitting us all together to eat. My kitchen table only really fits two people, though we squish three there whenever Mom and Dad are down. So, three sat at the normal table, and Mom and I sat at a lower table pulled up alongside the taller one...a little less than formal, but we all ate to our hearts content. Also, the camping chairs Mom and I sat in were at the level of the low table, so it was a little bit less awkward.

As "ghetto" as this may sound, I must say that I couldn't have been happier. Really, considering when I got the apartment I had no furniture at all, it is amazing what can be pulled together. God has blessed me with such great parents and family friends who all came through for me, lending me anything from a kettle to a television, to a teapot, to a bookcase, to a kitchen table, to a desk. As expensive as this term has been, I must say that I have most definitely been getting my money's worth, with ample place to house Mom and Dad on weekends and an opportunity to fine-tune (or create =P ) my cooking skills.

Anyways, I guess this blog is a lot of fluff...nothing "profound". But as I reflect of what God has provided me this Thanksgiving, it is plain to me that small miracles are happening all the time...I just need to slow down long enough to notice.

May you slow down long enough to notice the "God-things" around you!

2004-10-02T01:00:00.000-04:00

~Writing: A self-indulgent practice?~

Now that I have your attention (I hope), I should revise the title of this entry to "Writing Fiction: A self-indulgent practice?"

When I was growing up, I was a very focused person. When I set my mind on something, I would sit down and toil away until it was complete. No snack breaks. No checking email...it did not exist as of yet...that's probably why. No starting upon other endeavors. I have already shared my thoughts about novelty in general. I am a lover of novelty. I thrive in novelty. Sometimes that can be a great attribute, but more than often, it only adds up to a bunch of unfinished business, which can be dangerous, especially when it comes to ministry.

On that note, I have a lot of "unfinished business" floating around. I have lyrics and melody riffs scribbled here and there, awaiting the next rainy day when I am television deprived and am inspired enough to pick it up again. I have Japanese books and Mandarin books and French books and European phrase books. As Lue would say, I am "a jack of all trades but a master of none!" I have a novel I've been writing for two years, left dormant on my hard-drive, only to be pushed aside by a new story that has been occupying my free time.

I believe that writing has a lot of pros. For one thing, I enjoy it immensely. If we didn't have writers, we couldn't gobble up all the knowledge, sorting the good and the bad, like we do. A good book makes you think. Writing a book lets you escape into a world all your own.

Sometimes I wonder though...is it selfish of me to spend my energies on a book that will most likely never be published? After all, I'm a science major, semi-retired musician, passionate about languages who likes to write when convenient on co-op terms! But even if my subject matter and my intentions are glorifying to God, is my time better spent actively serving other people rather than getting home to my apartment and creatively spinning up a tale?

I suppose everything comes down to balance. For now, I will continue to add to the pages and attend my weekly commitments, but I will continue to ponder this question of "beneficial time offering".

2004-09-19T09:25:00.000-04:00

Note to self: Gotta meet more bachelorettes ^_~

Hahaha! I attended my first bachelorette party last night and it was a lot of fun! The leader of the women's small group I'm in this term hosted a surprise luau at her home for the bride, who I met two weeks and was the person who introduced me into the small group (Karen). It was a potluck-type event, and we all wore Hawaiian attire and waited in anticipation for Karen to arrive and yell "Surprise!" Of course, she said that all the cars in the drive-way tipped her off that something was going on...but since the house was kind of out in the country, we had nowhere else to put the cars. Oh well! I think she was more surprised about the outfit that she had to wear!

So, we mingled around and played a couple of games. I won one of the games, and got a picture frame which is very nice. When I got home and opened it, I knew exactly which picture to put inside...that's right! The CCF gals sitting on all our garbage bags of crinkled paper! One of my favourite pictures...I should scan it one day and post it here.

So, I had better get ready for church...everybody I know goes to late service, plus it's supposedly more "lively" than the first. I really love the church...it's very much like CFC in Waterloo, and the pastor is great. I notice however that he really shares the teaching duties quite often with other people, which is great. Of course, I wouldn't mind if he spoke every week, but variety is the spice of life =)

P.S. Congrats to Kalan Porter, the latest winner of "Canadian Idol". All your brothers and sisters in Christ are immensely proud of you for taking your stand of faith...and don't listen to what Zach says...the way you sang "I Can Only Imagine" was wonderful! Keep on singing to the Lord!

2004-09-06T10:00:00.000-04:00

~Invasion of Dial-up~

Yes, yes, I ashamedly admit that I have caved to the frugality monster and reverted into the world of dial-up... but for $0 for the first three months, wouldn't you? Hey, it's fast internet or food, so I'm getting my priorities straight. Besides, this whole dial-up thing isn't half as bad as I remember. Now of course, I can't watch MSN news online or any more apple.com movie trailers, but they were time wasters anyways. Already, my yahoo account is running *almost* as fast as usual... due to cookies I suppose.

Well, here I am in Montreal. I'm starting work tomorrow, and am just enjoying this awesome apartment that I have been blessed with here. It turned out to be less sad than I thought... I was quite worried it would be really ghetto, considering that I'm sleeping on an air mattress for 4 months, and that all my stuff is borrowed, doesn't match, and my living room contains fold-out camping chairs. But really, when all is said and done, it's quite charming!

So, more for myself than anything, I want to preserve a few memories here:

- move-in day was Thursday, September 2nd
- first meal was Special K mixed with Apple Muslix (I had no food)and was eaten on the floor
- parents came on Friday, Septemer 3rd to move in the rest of my stuff; we ordered pizza from Luna's and this was the first meal eaten at the table
- The Saturday night, I made the first official meal; chicken stuffed with apple and brie, with rice and cole slaw on the side (it was on this day the futon was purchased for the living room...cheap!)
- parents stayed again and I went to church in the morning (it was great!)
- after finishing a few errands, I made chicken parmesian for the first time and served lunch
- Mom and Dad left, and the first movie I watched here was Dante's Peak in French.
- Most of my channels are French, but I am overjoyed that I get CTV (yay CSI!!)

Okay, wow, I realize that I focus a lot on food. LOL! Do you do that too? When I look through old journals of mine, I notice that I do document the food I eat when I am writing about a memorable occasion. I wonder what it is about food that helps me remember events. Hmmm...

So, I have been integrated into a young women's cell group from my church, and I'm really looking forward to the first meeting. I am also going to try out McGill Christian Fellowship on Friday night. My friend is on committee there, so he will help me get aquainted. Montreal feels so different to me than Toronto did. In Toronto, it felt like I was on my own in my spiritual walk. Here, I already feel like I am becoming integrated into the community...like part of the body. Maybe God's just babying me because He knows I don't do well on solitary stints... who knows. But what I do know is that God has given me a tremendous opportunity to learn and grow here, so my prayer is that I don't waste it.

Perhaps my primary life-skill goal this term, is that after this term, I will actually become a good cook. Cooking is such a useful skill...it's a great way to serve people and to get to know people when you share food together. Plus, I'm sure my future husband would be quite appreciative that I won't make him do all the cooking. LOL! =P

2004-09-01T08:15:00.000-04:00

My new favourite quote - LOL! (okay, now read this with an Austrian accent)

For those critics who are so pessimistic about our economy (American), I say to you, don't be emotional girly-man...

Yes, that was Arnold at a Republican Rally... my Dad and I burst out laughing when he said that. LOL!

So, I'm leaving on a Greyhound tomorrow for Montreal. Dad and I took a trip down to my very first apartment last Sunday and moved in most of my stuff. Mom and Dad will come down on Friday evening to deliver the rest of my furniture, so for one night, I won't have anything in the apartment. I truly believe though, that this is going to be the term that I will truly learn to cook something other than rice, veggies, with a selection of meat on the side. Dad taught me how to make our special recipe of Shephard's pie and Chicken Parmesian. I'm looking forward to experimenting as well.

Oh yes, and good news! I am eligible for a student card for the Montreal transit system, which means that my bus pass will cost me only $31 a month... just for quick comparison, that would be $58 in Ottawa and $98 in Toronto, so I am quite pleased.

Once my phone line is hooked up and my computer is moved down, I will henceforth revert into the dark world of dial-up internet. Wish me luck as I fend off the minions of darkness - boredom, page-won't-load-itis, and why-can't-I-just-read-one-email anxiety.

2004-08-25T10:49:00.000-04:00

~Resolved~

As for the computer issue below, all catastrophes have been averted, and after two days of not letting me delete the emails, I was suddenly and randomly allowed to delete them... soooo... don't ask me, but I'm happy that Scimail didn't shut me down =P

Little factoid; I was just browsing the internet the other day, and I wanted to look up some P.O.D. lyrics because I heard that they were Christian but I can never make out their words ^_^ Indeed, most of their music is very blatantly talking about serving Jesus. Pretty cool I must say. They don't state their faith on their site, but they do have a message board where people debate Christian issues, such as evolution, sexuality, etc... As far as I know, they don't actually comment on the message boards, but there is a lot of interesting discussion going on there. Oh yes, and another reason I searched them out is because I wanted to know what P.O.D. stands for: Payable on Death. I suppose that their name is talking about how we can never repay Christ's amazing sacrifice for us. LOL! As Victoria would put it, "Infiltration". (Hope your vacation in HK is super fun Vicki!)

Hahaha! They played "13 Going on 30" on the bus when I came home from Waterloo, and a big part of the movie is this scene where everybody dances to "Thriller"... well, of course, guess which song I can't stop listening to ever since. LOL! It's so... I don't know... you just can't help but dance, it's so funky!

Speaking of movies played on the bus, they also showed "Man on Fire" with Denzel Washington. It was a really good movie...violence was treated a little non-chalently, but that was part of his character. But I thought that despite the violence of the movie, the ending really showed selfless love. It had me crying on the bus! Luckily, I wasn't sobbing... that's sooo embarassing when that happens to me. This was more the silent tear down the cheek, then the sniffle, and then turning my head to make sure nobody was watching me. The little girl, Pita (her character name) was an excellent actress. It always amazes me when I see a good child actor, because many kids ham everything up much too much. I think though that until he grows up, my favourite child actor will always be Haley Joel Osment. His talent is incredible! He seems so mature on screen, but apparently as soon as they yell cut, he turns back into an ordinary kid.

I'm also hooked right now on Starfield. If you have a chance to get your hands on any, my favourite songs are "Cry in my Heart" and "Filled with your Glory".

Cry in My Heart
by Starfield

For what do I have,
If I don't have you Jesus?
What in this life
Could mean any more?

You are my rock
Your are my glory
You are the lifter
Of my head

2004-08-21T12:01:00.000-04:00

Question for you CS'ers out there...

Okay, so I've exceeded my Waterloo Email quota limit (I didn't even know there was a limit) by 2 megs. No big deal... I must have a thousand emails and I deleted a whole bunch. However, it wasn't until I was clearing out the inbox that I noticed that I received three identical emails from a friend with a very large attachment (ie: 2.5 megs). So, I tried to delete two of them (one at a time, clearing the trash box each time) but I got an error message saying that I couldn't delete them because they are too big to move into the trash. So this is a bit of a pickle, isn't it!? If I keep the emails, they might shut me down, and I am unable to delete them. Does anybody know how to get around this problem??

Quick update...

I am going to a joint BBQ for CCCO and OCAC with Denise tonight, which I'm really looking forward to! Oh YEAH!! And I drove yesterday for the first time in just under a year. YAHOO! I missed it so much... and I would have thought that my clutch work would be a bit bumpy, but it is just as smooth, if not smoother than when I left Ottawa. Man, I love driving!

2004-08-18T23:50:00.000-04:00

Home sweet home...

How very strange these last few days have been! I spent the majority of my last few Waterloo days hanging around with Mike, cleaning out the apartment and chatting and playing video games. It was so strange that Waterloo, a place that is usually full of so much warmth and so much life, seemed so empty. I'm thankful that I didn't have to go through it completely alone. Thanks Mike for letting me tag along, and connecting me with the few people left in Waterloo!

So, the move was pulled off successfully (thanks be to God above!). That was a very tricky move home, but I think some thanks are due:

- Denise: thank you so much for squishing my computer stuff in your car. I didn't trust a shipping company for those things, and you really helped me out, so thank you so much!
- Mike Mak: thank you for driving me around to accomplish all the random errands I had to do before I left. The taxi bill would have been horendous!
- Mike Yung: thank you for helping me with the desk moving and getting my stuff to Westcourt. Good luck with the next term!
- Jane: thanks so much for looking after/possibly buying my desk. I don't know what I would have done with it if you hadn't so selflessly offered to take it off my hands, so thanks!
- JT&Calla: thank you for allowing me to store my bike in Calla's WCRI storage. Not only do I really appreciate this, but I'm sure that the family I lived with appreciates it even more! I don't think they'd be impressed if I left it in their garage ^_^
- Alex: thank you for taking time out of your schedule to bring me to the post office to ship off my stuff. It may not seem like a lot to you, but it was essential to me!

So, leaving my house was quite a pathetic thing =P There was nobody home... nobody to say goodbye to...expect the cat on the front step. Call me crazy, but I actually found that a little heart-wrenching. She was the most dog-like cat I have ever known, and even though sometimes she drove me nuts with her little "surprises" around the house, and waking me up at 4 am to be fed, I will miss Opal. A good cat, and this may sound crazy, but a good friend. Man, I need to get out more!

So, after loading my 5 very heavy bags into the taxi, I pet Opal on the head goodbye one last time, and drove away from my temporary home. It was very surreal... thinking that I won't be going back. I had a lot of good times there, and couldn't ask for a nicer family to live with. To the Robinson's, thank you with all my heart!

There was ample room to panic about the fact that I had much more luggage than I could carry, but I learned my lesson last term... that God indeed provides. I didn't let myself get worked up this year, and God sent me helpers along each step of my trip... from the cab driver, to the lady on the bench, to the old lady in the line, to the Greyhound assistant, to Chris Tsoi (yeeeah baby! ^_^) to Sarah who picked me up. Yeah... it was so cool to see Chris in the Toronto bus station! Especially since I was having, as I told him, a very "lonely" day. There's something about leaving a "home" and nobody being there to bid you farewell that can get you down. So silly, I know... Anyways, Chris saw me off, and then Sarah was there to greet me, so my day picked up considerably. And then of course, I got home to my Mom. I'm so content...spending the day with Mom today was really a joy. Especially without having the preoccupation in the back of my mind that I had better enjoy myself because I'm leaving in two days. This gal's not going anywhere yet!!

So, Dad gets home next Sunday, so that'll be another treat! In the meantime, Mom and I are working on getting all the things I need for my Montreal apartment. $135 later, I'm feeling kind of dazed... I just have to trust and be faithful with my money this term, and God will do the rest... come on stock market, pick up already!!

It's really strange to think that I may very well not see any CCFers for four whole months...some of the friends I have made there have become like part of my family. In a way, it seems like Waterloo is my home now. But I am thankful that I have this opportunity to spend more time with my parents and my Ottawa friends, who I have only seen for a total of around 14 days over the last 12 months.

Pray for me, that away from the stronghold of CCF, that my faith, like Daniel, would not weaken, and that I would not let my passion be stolen away from me. For my stronghold is in Him alone... not in a place or time or group of people.

To any CCFers who may be reading this right now, I will really miss you dearly this term. I pray God's blessings on your term, whether or not it's more work (at RIM =P), a new work term, or another school term... I hope that if you are in need, let me know so at least I can help you from so far away in prayer. I hope this doesn't all sound really cheezy... I assure you it's quite genuine.

Time for bed! I have written quite enough for one night =)

Blessings <><

2004-08-09T10:35:00.000-04:00

Found a cool thing on Dawn's blog. I found it humourous... apparently, I'm neglected =P

I hope that everybody's exams are going well. 6 down, 2 to go for me... one tonight, so I better go. God bless!

M	Magical
A	Ambivalent
R	Responsible
I	Influential
A	Astounding
N	Neglected
N	Nerdy
E	Entertaining

Name Acronym Generator
From Go-Quiz.com

2004-08-05T11:24:00.000-04:00

Elective!!!

Yes, while I was in my pre-occupied "don't wanna do physics yet!" mood this morning, I picked up the old academic plan I made a couple terms ago and scratched off some courses and flipped some others... anyways, to make a long story short, I, Marianne, have located a spot in my schedule for an elective! (*applause*). Yes, one elective in five years, and it will be in my 4B term =P

Anyways, back to physics.

2004-08-03T19:13:00.000-04:00

One (or four) down, four to go!!!

Ah yes... lovely, lovely finals! I had my first lecture final today in molecular biology. I feel like it went pretty well. I hope that the marks agree =) Coming up tomorrow is biochemistry followed by physics, and then spaced out, organic chem and thermodynamics. I think once I get past tomorrow, I will feel better about everything.

So, just chilling here for a moment by my computer with my HK milk tea (thanks Vicki!). After writing my exam today, I headed over to DP to do some more studying, and then treated myself this afternoon to my very first swim in the pool that I am allowed to use as a resident of the Beechwood community =P It's a really nice pool... very clean, and the water is very blue. It refreshed me quite a bit.

Nothing profound to say today... my pickle is back though. I am looking for somebody who wants to take a road trip to either Ottawa or Montreal in the week of the 15th, and I will reimburse them for the entire trip. You see, my parents are going to be out of province and I need to move my stuff (ie: clothes, comforter, books and computer). A very generous friend graciously offered to give me a lift, but she found out yesterday that her Mom has planned a family trip during that time. So it's back hunting for transportation. Man, I wish I was old enough to rent a car! (And have the highway skills to drive it ^_^ )

One last thing, do you have any idea what it means when you sprout random curly hairs on the top of your head (and you have straight hair???).

Good luck with finals, or whatever other obstacles you may encounter this week!

2004-07-28T21:18:00.000-04:00

Last Philosopher's Passion of Spring 2004...

Well, it was a really wonderful term for me serving at CCF. It's kind of surreal that Philosopher's Passion met for the last time this evening to share a meal together. Tonight was really enjoyable. Thanks to Sophia for bringing chocolate banana cake, and Phat for picking up a whole bunch of goodies at the store on the way over! It was very much unexpected, but very much appreciated =) Also a VERY big thank you to Mike Y, who went to pick up everybody on my behalf, even when he had a final in just over an hour. You're a lifesaver, and thank you so much!

So, Sophia, Noella, David, Phat and I all had hamburgers and then various deserts... I think there were more deserts than main course food... but that's because it was at my house! I really enjoy having people over. I really think that I may take the work term to learn how to whip up a couple of easy but very yummy recipes, because I have discovered that I really like hosting events in my house. Perhaps an area that I can develop further... darn! should have picked more skills up from Annie last term =P

So, I'd like to quickly share some thoughts about Philosopher's Passion and what the past three months have been like:

- To begin, getting a chance to serve with Sophia was wonderful! Even before I knew Sophia well, she always seemed to pop up out of nowhere when I needed someone to talk to, and she is a good listener. From the beginning I was really excited about serving with her. Our very first meeting, which was to set out the mission for Philosopher's Passion for this term was quite interesting... at first, our styles did not exactly match up. I am pretty detailed oriented, and Sophia has a bigger outlook on the overall picture. Without knowing this about each other, our first meeting was productive but a long time getting there, because we both weren't aware how to mesh our styles. But it certainly didn't take long for us both to learn how, and when we did, it is so evident that God placed us together for a reason... for Sophia to keep reminding me of the bigger picture and to keep overall focus when I can't see it, and for me to catch the details that may get missed. It was a synergetic team in every sense of the word!

- A word of... not caution... but FYI if you ever want to lead a group such as Philosopher's Passion... Attendence fluctuates DRASTICALLY! If anybody knows a way to help people to commit to coming out regularly, please let me know! But be advised, that if you want to get involved in the seeker ministry, the turnover is huge. We had weeks with ten people, and then the next week, only one person would show (who was usually David... thanks David for being so reliable!) And then two people (the second being Noella) and then ten people again! I know it's because we are at school to study, but just be aware and don't be discouraged if this happens to you. I am glad that I learned this now so that I can put some time into thinking of accountability systems for Philosopher's cell.

- Many irregular members that come know more than you think they do! This is something that I learned to be very important. Not knowing where everybody is in their knowledge of Christianity, I try to take things slow and explain concepts along the way so that nobody gets left behind. I have to find a new way to do this, because it is easy to come off as condescending to seekers who are very well read in the material. Of course, I have no such feelings, I just want to be very clear so that everybody has the same starting point. But yes, a word of caution to balance the pace of discussion.

- God throws curve balls! With the very unstable nature of this kind of ministry, you never know what you're going to get, so it is important that you are solid on the foundations of your faith. Sometimes questions creep up that have nothing to do with the subject at hand. It's good to be flexible, and I learned once again that it's really okay not to have all the answers! Nobody does, right?

- You will learn more about your own faith than maybe you will end up teaching other people. And this was exciting for me! Some of the questions that came up were truly philosophical to the core, and as I'm not an extremely deep thinker, I was quite intrigued at many of the topics that arose. Especially stuff on evil and angels... I want to look deeper into this theology, because it's really interesting, and it's challenged my faith because I haven't even thought about many things before. Searching for the answers is a journey all unto itself, but that's life!

I hope that everybody who came out to Philosopher's Wednesday or Friday meetings will walk away with a little philosophy to ponder on. I know that I have, and it's a term that has really shaped me. It feels good to serve the Lord in a way that He has designed!

So what came first... the chicken, or the egg?

2004-07-26T18:21:00.000-04:00

Quick update...

So Vicki and I are going to be official dungeon-dwellers in the winter term (a.k.a. Eby Hall) LOL! We went to visit the place, and to be quite honest, it didn't really match the picture in my mind, but our plan is to bring a lot of tall lamps and posters to brighten the place up. And besides, it's only four months, and CHEAP! =P

On a brighter note, I am delighted that Josey, Shirley, and Agnes, who we were going to sublet a house from, have found subletters to replace us (*sigh of relief*) Victoria and I were really in quite the pickle, with different opinions from all sides, but we didn't want to leave our three friends in a scramble right before exams. Luckily, God didn't really want that either, and we each got what we needed. Praise Him!

If anybody feels like a road-trip to Montreal and has a car after exams, please let me know! *mischieveous smile*

2004-07-24T20:52:00.000-04:00

Hahahahaha!!! One of these things is not like the other... one of these things is not the same... lalalala! Like the new look?? =P I'm quite aware that this little photoshop endeavor will probably not help me convince ppl that I'm not an Asian wanna-be, but man, I just couldn't resist! Disclaimer: I am quite content being Caucassian just as I was created by God. Too bad I can't photoshop Cantonese and Mandarin into myself... that takes more time ^_^

2004-07-24T12:51:00.000-04:00

The King has returned!

No, no, I'm not talking about Lord of the Rings =P I'm sure you may have noticed the stressful undertone in recent blogs. Lately, I've figured some stuff out about myself and my faith, and ever since, I feel full again! What a wonderful feeling, for God to have finally shown me what it is that has kept my heart unsettled this term. I am so thankful now that I know what it is and I can deal with it accordingly. Thank you Jesus!

Sorry that was cryptic... you can ask me about it in person if you wish. Speaking of cryptic, last week in cell group, Sophia posed the question, "Who is Jesus to you?" A lot of things came in my mind. He is my model of who I should be. He is the best friend anybody could ever have. He is a humble servant, who lowers himself below me to meet my needs. He loves like no other person has ever loved or will ever love. But you know, another thing that came to my mind is that he can be downright confusing and cryptic! Often the disciples asked him, "Why can you not speak to us plainly?" and sometimes I wonder the same. Sometimes I feel like if he just right out and said things, there would not be so much division, even in the church over interpretations and stuff. But then again, maybe he had to speak like that to live long enough to gain enough of a following for His purpose to be effective. A method of self-preservation perhaps?

Of course, most of the parables are relatively easy to understand, and paint wonderful pictures in practical and tangible ways of how life should be lived. Where I sometimes get confused is when Jesus changes characters in the parables... like "I am the gate" and then "I am the shephard". More than his words though, I sometimes sit and wonder about his actions. Sometimes it seems like the disciples are just trying to help, like bringing him a glass of water, but he rebukes them all of a sudden. I guess it must just be that he can either read our minds or sense our motives (I'm still not clear on his earthly abilities on that matter), so he sees that first. Maybe?

I always figured that somebody who is perfect would also be predictable, but Jesus definitely isn't, at least to me. I guess that just once again tells me that as human beings, we can't even begin to comprehend certain things, including perfection. Does a day go by that even a fleeting selfish thought doesn't taint our minds?

Anyways, I probably should get on with things. Just ponderings...

A picture for you (see above)!

2004-07-20T13:10:00.000-04:00

Up and down, back and forth...

Life is very fluid for me lately. It seems that I can have a superbly good day and a miserably bad day all in the very same day. Do you know what I mean?? I guess I'm just happy of the fact that through it all, God remains constant.. even though it feels like I've been walking through the life of the "Crazy Kitchen" lately...

Well, as for today, I handed in an incomplete assignment because I had no idea how to finish it. There's so much to do, and I wish I had time to take a break. You know, like when you get an exam over or a big project, and you would just like to watch a movie or something? But then of course, you can't because you just have another exam or another project due the very day after. Been running on empty for a while... but I guess it's when I'm the most empty that I have the chance to be the most "full"... in the spiritual sense. It's just so hard to feel!

Today was also a great day because I got to see Mike and Nola, some friends we made in Europe 2001 who have come to visit Canada from Australia. It was so wonderful to see them! It was like no time had passed at all... we just picked up our conversation right where we left off. It is weird though, realizing that the last time I spoke with them in person, I hadn't chosen a career path, I hadn't chosen a university... I hadn't even graduated from high school! I wish we would have had more time to catch up, but they were on their way to St. Catherine's, and I am here in the computer lab ready to cram some extra info in before my CHEM 265L final. I would just like to once again thank Mike and Nola for treating me to lunch! I had a wonderful time, and truly appreciate it =)

On that note, I would also like to thank Dawn for lunch on Sunday, and Chris for treating Jane and I to dinner. You guys are the best! =) Your generosity is inspiring to me, and I hope that with the resources I have available to me, I can show the same generosity back.

Please say a quick prayer for a dilemma I'm having regarding my Montreal housing situation. It's a bit of a complicated matter, and right now I need wisdom to make my decision.

Well, one hour to study should suffice =P For now, I'll keep on running!

2004-07-17T18:58:00.000-04:00

Happy Birthday Miriam!! I hope you have a great day, and especially a very good dinner! =)

Well, I am just doing some chemistry after spending a wonderful night with the CCF girls. We held "Girl's Night" at my place, and it was really enjoyable. I was especially happy that a couple of girls that weren't going to come ended up coming and staying for a couple of hours. I hope that the more intimate setting of a house may encourage us to pursue deeper friendships with each other. I know that sometimes at retreats, you meet so many people that it's hard to even try to get to know them. All totaled, we had twelve girls participate in the evening, with 8 sleeping over. We decided to go to bed around 5:30 am, and Calla casually noticed that the sky had colour in it. There was much groaning after that realization =P One highlight of the morning after went as follows:

Calla: I'm surprised that the guys didn't crash our party...
Jane: Well, they would know not to crash Marianne's house... since it's not really a student's house.
[pause]
All: The cars!

Yes, yes, Calla's car was hit by those devious boys! ^_^ Though it remains a great mystery how and when they opened the doors and stuffed the entire car full of crinkled paper. We were pretty amused actually. I must credit them... it was very clever!

When everybody left, I think that God spoke to me in a few ways. One of those ways was that once again, He has told me that I am indeed a very rich girl. To have found the sisters in Christ that God has put in my life never ceases to fill me with that "warm fuzzy feeling". I feel like Paul and how he writes of the church in Philipi:

"I thank my God every time I remember you. In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." -- Philippians 1:3-6

I feel so honoured that it is with these sisters that I will serve beside for all of eternity. I know that I have a lot to learn from them. I enjoy the challenge they present, and the love and caring they show for one another.

All that said, I am thrilled with the success of girl's night, and I hope that this may become a sort of tradition that will unite CCF-er-elles for years to come!

Blessings,

2004-07-09T00:57:00.000-04:00

Quick update...

Hello there! Marianne is very very tired, and will thus share a fast update on life in general ^_^

So, I found an apartment for the fall term in Montreal. Praise God! It was so arranged by Him too! We were having a lot of trouble because landlords really don't like the idea of 4-month leases... especially the kind that end just before January, which is the season that few people move, apparently...

I called lots of ads and got lots of "no's". Finally, I called this one ad, and told the man my situation and mentioned I was a co-op student. I arranged a visit to the apartment (and it's gorgeous... I'll post pics later). Anyways, he told my parents as we were parting that had I only said I was a student, he would have said no, but since I was a co-op student, it made him re-consider. The reason is because he just happens to be a retired engineer that used to hire Waterloo co-op students! And as if those "coincidences" aren't enough, we passed the church that Jonas goes to on the way. It just happens to be on my street =D I'm also pleased as punch that the apartment has its own washer and dryer. Yay for clean clothes =P

In other news: I have survived 9 hours so far of the 30-hour famine. When Josiah announced the famine, I immediately went to get a form. I have been wanting to do this famine for years. However, I think I've wanted to do it to appease my guilt (long story...). In any case, I just got back from prayer meeting, and I'm very happy because during my time in prayer, God revealed to me His true purpose behind the famine. I guess since secular groups do it as well, I didn't really expect all the emphasis on "true fasting". I am really learning a lot already through this experience... and I'm not even really all that hungry... yet!

Well, this weekend will be spent right here in front of this computer. I have a long report to write, as well as a term-assignment to start, and studying for my last midterm. Yikes! It's gearing back up again and I'm running on empty! I guess sometimes you have to run on empty to realize that it's when you're on empty that you have the most fuel of all.

End of philosophy. Sleep is beckoning.

To Vicki: I hope that the retreat goes well and that you are all very "uncomfortable"! I know that God will speak to you guys this weekend.

Zzzzzzz

2004-06-26T10:13:00.000-04:00

Okay, last picture for the day! If you guys want to download this program, it's free! Click on the funny little icon with the pop-up that says "Hello"... what I like about it is that it keeps your pics full size when you click on them, and you don't have to worry about webspace... as far as I know! The only pain is that it doesn't look like you can post multiple pics in one post... unless of course I stuck them together in photoshop! =P This particular picture is from the family reunion I went to in early June at Annie's place. Although this picture is far away, I think it's a really nice one of my family. Oh man! I just noticed I'm wearing the same thing as the last one! =D Oh well, it would be too expensive to have lots of "dress-up" outfits, so that'll have to do! Back to studying. Blessings!

2004-06-26T10:06:00.000-04:00

Ack! I'm trying to figure out how to post three pics in one blog!! Sorry for all the separate ones!

2004-06-26T10:05:00.000-04:00

More pictures from Dad's 50th... which was incidently one month ago today! =)

2004-06-26T10:02:00.000-04:00

Becki (my sister!) and I at Dad's 50th Birthday party

2004-06-20T21:07:00.000-04:00

Happy Father's Day Dad! I love you so much XOXOX

Wowzers!

It's coming up to TEN HOURS that I've been writng this lab report! It's the first time that I've had to miss prayer meeting all term, but I absolutely had to get this thing done. I haven't even had dinner. Thank heavens though, I'm done writing, and now, it's done to the proof-reading. I'm really thankful that I had quite a focused day. I would have been done for if I had writer's block or something. As it stands now, I wrote 11 pages discluding the title page and the reference page. And that's a lot of text! Only three figures in there =O I'm still wondering whether or not I should scan in a picture of a galvanostat, but there are two and I'm not sure which one we used, so I don't think I will =P Anyways, it's about time for a little break!

This weekend was a really great weekend. My physics midterm went pretty well on Friday, though I now I mixed up a couple things. Oh well! In the past now... I got to CCF two hours late and missed the guest speaker completely, which is really too bad. Still, it was really nice seeing everybody that came back for convocation, like Yu-Ling, Toby, and Jesse. You should see Toby's tan! He's so dark... I guess that's what Egypt does to a person ^_^

We ended up eating pretty late and starting hockey even later. I actually didn't play any hockey. I stood and talked the Yu-Ling the whole time, catching up on the last few months. He had a couple really good ideas about the Philospher's ministry that I'm going to think about acting on.

On Saturday, I got dressed up and walked to school for convocation. I made it just in time before everybody left. I'm lucky that I got a couple pictures in. Then it was off to the library to research my best friend, Karl Fischer (hint of sarcasm...). Three hours and 12 hand-written pages later, I emerged from the library and made my way home. That evening, Karen came over, and we had a movie night watching Pirates and Prince of Egypt. The movie night was 3 months overdue, (it was planned for March I think), but better late than never! It was also great to see Prince of Egypt again... I haven't been able to sit down and just relax for a long, long time.

When I hand in my report tomorrow, it will mark the end of my three-week long "Hell week". But next week is just the calm before another storm, so I'm praying that I'll stay focused, and mix my relaxation with a steady amount of studying and work so that I don't get killed on my Thermo midterm and my next Analytical report... not to mention that molecular assignment that was given to us two weeks ago. So much to do!

Canada is quickly approaching, which means I get to go home for a whole 4 days! And I think we're actually going downtown this year, which is where I always want to spend Canada Day, but my friends usually want to stay around the neighbourhood. I wonder who's performing on the Hill this year...?

2004-06-14T19:05:00.000-04:00

Well, it's semi-official... as long as the job doesn't mysteriously get cancelled...

Marianne's going to Montreal! ^_^ I did a lot of thinking, and the more I thought about not returning to Toronto, the more I wanted to stay in Toronto. But, something inside me feels very attracted towards the job at Merck Frosst. And it'll be such a bonus being so much closer to home and stuff! And the biggest bonus of all is that Jeanne also decided to take her offer at Merck too, so we're going to be living together!! I'm really excited about that =) I admire Jeanne so much. She's so smart, and so good in the lab. I'm really looking forward to getting to know her even better.

Anyways, would love to blog more, but I have too much bloody homework to do! Gahh!

Once again, a huge thank you to God for always providing me with jobs that will draw me closer to my purpose and subsequently to Him. I am so blessed with the opportunities He has given me.

Must first survive this term... thank goodness I'm not in it alone =)

2004-06-11T15:11:00.000-04:00

Interviews and rankings and offers, oh my!

Well, this past week was interesting, to say the very least. Interviews were challenging, and I am very thankful for the experiences I have had because they have taught me alot about God and about myself.

And now, today is ranking day. I am very blessed with two job offers to decide between. Unfortunately, neither of those offers are located in Waterloo or in Ottawa, so once again, my plans have been supersceded by Greater plans. It's disappointing that I won't get to be here or home in Fall term. I was extremely excited about both possibilites, but it appears that perhaps that's not the plan for now. I do, however, have an almost definite place to work for next summer term here in Waterloo, so I'll be able to stay on and help with committee stuff.

So yeah, I have been offered a job at U of T where I worked last term (but under a different supervisor and doing different research) or in Montreal with Merck Frosst. I don't know what to do! Well, I'll rephrase that. I do know what to do. I have to pray, and pray hard! Both have advantages and disadvantages. For example, I'd love to be able to spend time with my old co-workers from last term. I know Toronto pretty well now, and I'd be able to stay with Annie again, which would be awesome! Living with her was better than I could have hoped for. And, I'd be able to pop over to Waterloo every now and then, plus meet up with Victoria (as seems to be our co-op term tradition... sleepovers and fine dining ^_^ ). But then there's Montreal... I have the opportunity to work with state-of-the-art equipment, get experience in industry, and go to Montreal! I get excited when I think about it! And I'd only be 2.5 hours away from home. I could go home at least once a month. The pay of course, is great because it's industry. The only thing is, I'd be so far from Waterloo. It will be tricky to find a place to live, and that will for sure be pretty expensive. And though this really isn't a deciding factor, my long distance plan won't work in Quebec =P

But it would be cool because I could get my French fluency level back up to snuff. Merck pays for moving costs, so I wouldn't have to worry about renting a truck and stuff. But it could be very lonely over there, though I'm sure that there will be great people I will meet. There's a possibility that my friend Jeanne may work there as well (we got both the offers). But I think she's leaning towards NPS Pharmaceuticals in Mississauga.

Anyways, I have lots to do, and time to think and pray about this. It's exciting, that's for sure! Must go to DP now...

2004-06-02T07:38:00.000-04:00

Whew! Here goes nothing... it's my all-so-not-looked-forward to "crazy day"... prayers that I will be calm... my stomach tends to do strange things when my nerves are going =(

God, I hand today over to you. I've done my part to prepare for all the obstacles I am facing. Please carry me through them, and may everything happen according to your plan.

In Jesus' name,
Amen

2004-05-28T18:05:00.000-04:00

-- Life as of late :o) --

Fifteen days no blogging! Well, it's been a busy but pretty good fifteen days, I must say. The highlight of this month was my Dad's 50th birthday on May 26th! Happy Birthday once again Dad! I love you so much, and now, fifty times more ;o)

I got the opportunity to go home to celebrate Dad's birthday because it was the long weekend. The Friday night, I got to see my high school buddies and we played an awesome game of Hard Target. Hard Target is essentially a huge game of hide-and-seek but very late at night and around the whole city! Very fun =) The most wonderful part was seeing everybody again. It seems to me like we're growing closer together the longer we spend apart. I really felt something different in the group dynamic this weekend. I'm so thankful for them, even though I barely get to see them.

On Saturday, Becki (my sister!) arrived around 3 pm, and she treated us to new songs on her guitar. I was so happy to see her! We haven't seen each other since Christmas. I still smile to myself when it hits me all over again that I actually have a sister!

Friends and neighbours started arriving for the party at around 5:30 pm. I think that Dad was tickled pink! I was tickled pink for him! He was surrounded by the most valuable things in life... his family and his friends. Becki made him this collection of family photos (hers and ours) for Dad. It is really beautiful... Dad was really touched. It contains moments from her childhood, her parents, her girls, and then Mom, Dad and I from our first and second meeting. I know that it'll always hang proudly on our wall. Leslie, Ron and the girls bought Dad an apron that says: "It took me 50 years to look (crossed out) cook this good!" It looks so cute on him! We got great pictures to commemerate the evening. I must say that it's truly one of the best evenings I've spent on a long weekend back home. The company certainly wasn't lacking in any way =)

Sunday was marked by Shrek 2 with Dad and Troy with Sarah, Mandas, Oli, and Mat. Both very good movies I felt. I got to bed pretty late, and then was gone on a bus before I knew it at 11:30 am on Monday morning. One of the best weekends, and certainly the fastest... I guess that's just life.

The only thing about having a weekend like that is it makes me want to go home... I think the difference is that I haven't really been home for 8 months, and there was no break in between co-op. But I still love it here! Just today, I was hanging with my fellow biochem kids, and a thought passed through my mind saying, "I'm so blessed to have such great friends!" Still, I long to go home, but might not have my wish for quite a long time. It all depends on where God wants me in the fall. A couple of jobs have come up in Jobmine working here with Alzheimer's. I've had a deep interest in Alzheimer's ever since I started going to Madonna Nursing Home, so it is a golden opportunity. And then, there's a job in Ottawa that looks really awesome too! I applied to both... I'm just glad that it's in God's hands. I'm having an interior struggle between "I want to be in Waterloo to serve on committee so bad!" and "I want to be home for once so bad!" I didn't really feel like that before the weekend, but I guess I just got enough to realize what I'm missing.

Besides that, school has been busy as usual. Assignments and labs seem to be my life... I barely have time to study, and round one of midterms is coming on Wednesday already! Mixed in with interviews, it's enough to get anybody a little apprehensive. I just pray for focus this weekend that I don't waste my time and study well. Then I'll be able to survive =P

On one last note, I met up with Victoria for lunch this week to start off our accountability sessions. I'm really excited about it! With how good friends we are already, I see it growing deeper and deeper as we spend more time together and share what's most important with each other.

And so, a big thank you to Jesus! For my family, for my sister, for my friends scattered among cities, and for lasting relationships that will endure all eternity.

2004-05-13T22:09:00.000-04:00

Praise God for He answers our desperate calls for help and transforms us from the inside out!

I had such a wonderful day... I don't know if any of you were reading my blogs last term (fall 2003 - you can find them on my website), but a common topic of stress in my life was my Analytical chemistry lab. Well, this term is even worse because it's 6 hours long instead of three and there's like 16 experiments to do instead of 6, and it's my sixth course, instead of being part of one of my lectures. I was truly dreading it. But God changed all that! I prayed for a more positive outlook on my lab and that I would stay focused and within God's presence. The lab went so well that me and a friend were the fastest ones! That may sound like a very trivial thing to blog about, but when it comes to lab work, I have never once in my life been fast at all... in fact, I'm quite the opposite... very slow. I looked at my lab just as if I was going to work. It's also much better because I am with more of my friends (Yay, Ken, and Jeanne). Their support, even though they may not know it, means so much to me. I really admire Jeanne for her efficiency in the lab. It really pushed me to stay focused working beside her because she almost set a pace for me to follow. Of course, I do realize that hopefully one day I will be able to self-start and get up and going on my own, but for now, when Jesus knows I need motivation the most, He's given me such a blessing to be working with my friends.

I feel wonderful right now... I've never felt like this about a lab before. Of course, I know that trials will come. I pray that when they do, I will still hold true to my faith and persevere in rejoicing in the Lord in all circumstances. For true joy comes from Him alone... whether you're on a high or a low.

I hope that school/work/life is going well for you guys. May you learn to rejoice in all situations, and seek after Jesus' presence all the days of your lives. Blessings!

2004-05-08T16:44:00.000-04:00

Work reports are stupid!!!

Okay, there's my outburst concerning work reports. Co-op really is like another course... between the resume building, the job searching, the researching, the interviews, then the work reports... it can all be so overwhealming. I do see though that if we didn't have to do work reports, then we'd be missing out on a valuable skill... it's just so... stupid!

Anyhow, I'm chipping away at it, with my good ol' Switchfoot CD to keep me company. I got up today at 2:15 pm. It's a good thing my phone rang, or I might still be asleep. CCF was great last night. It was cool to have such an informal meeting. One thing I am working on this term is getting to know people better. I find that I often try to say hi to lots of people after CCF, but I rarely get into a deep conversation with anybody. I think this is another demonstration of a lack of caring. But I've been praying really hard that God would help me to love people like He does, and I can feel Him working. When I sympathize with people lately, I really feel something of what they feel. I feel more than sorry for them... I feel the pain too. I am listening more and speaking less. As a result, I'm learning a lot of things about people that I could have a long time ago, if I had only spent more time with individuals. I also met some wonderful people this Friday from CCF. And I didn't only meet them, I spent time with them and got a snapshot of who they are. I think that I would shy away from engaging in longer conversations before because I never knew what to say. I was missing the point. Speaking with somebody isn't about finding things to say. It's about caring for the person and what is happening in their lives. When you put yourself in that frame of mind, conversation comes easy. There is no awkward silence, because your mind isn't distracted with your own problems or your own schedule. It has to do with focusing on the speaker.

I also went to William's afterwards with dearest Victoria. We had a really good chat as well, about life and stuff. I am really glad that we got that chance to spend that time, just her and me. It is something that we haven't done in a long time.

Hockey of course was fun as usual. I could be wrong, but I think my skills have improved from last term. After that, we went to John's place to bid farewell to Jesse and Jason who are off to Seattle... not for co-op, but for good. It's so weird to see them go. I know I will miss them both. CCF is a better place with them having been there. Good luck Jesse and Jason, and God be with you!

Wow, I really don't have time to write this much... it's almost dinner!

2004-04-29T16:34:00.000-04:00

--Winding down--

I can't believe it's the second last day of April. For me, time in general always seems to pass very quickly, but at the same time, events a couple months ago feel like years ago, especially when a lot of events and activities are crammed into them. This month of April has been very busy for me. I am looking foward to getting back to Waterloo, though I'm going to miss Amanda, and Annie and Roger. I am getting excited about next year's committee, and how God will work through us to drive the fellowship. After two meetings, the roles have been decided, and I will be serving as the communications person. It is actually kind of cool how this came to be. Let me explain.

When I was initially reading about the various roles and praying about them, I thought that vice-chair was the best role for me. It is a role that drives evangelism and outreach in CCF, which is my highest agenda for the fellowship. I couldn't really see myself in any other role, though I was open to most of them. I knew that program co-ordinator wasn't for me, because I really get hung up on details, and I knew that the position would stress me out to the max. Besides, I don't believe I am creative enough to innovate new ideas for Friday night. I never even really thought about communications because I figured that I "had too much vision for a role like that" (the words of my own thoughts). In the aftermath of Sunday night, when I was working on Monday and thinking about our deliberations about chair, I felt God speak to me. Since both people running for chair were also passionate about outreach, it would not be as crucial for vice-chair to hold the chair accountable on that issue. My thinking is also not complementary, but rather mostly the same as that of the chair. I suddenly felt a prompting towards communications. Still, I said to myself, "But I have more vision to offer than that!" Then it occured to me, and I'm sure that God must have been smiling and nodding, saying to Himself, "Now she finally understands..." As Sam and Eric both said, the committee is made up of seven equals, each who bring a piece of vision to the table. Just because I am in a different doesn't mean I have any less say in the vision. I really enjoy and am not intimidated of speaking to people. I like passing on ideas and getting people pumped up about an idea. I truly believe that how involved the whole fellowship is involved in the vision is directly proportional to the health of the fellowship and its members. I also have the admin experience that goes along with the job. Being in this position will also allow me to help drive another thing that is close to my heart, and that's making CCF seen on campus, as well as dissolving some of the myths that surround it (ie: CCF is ONLY for Chinese people). Yes, Chinese is part of the title, and it is obvious that the large majority of the fellowship will remain Chinese, and rightly so. There is comfort and stability in common background and cultural community. What I am concerned about is that people considering attending a fellowship would shy away from CCF simply because they think that they would feel awkward and/or wouldn't be accepted there. Personally, I have trouble even convincing my Caucasian Christian friends to attend, because they think it is too exclusive. This is an issue that has been largely unaddressed in the past, perhaps because a large portion of the membership come from Chinese churches, and CCF is simply an extension of what they already know. Yes, of course there are other fellowships that people can attend. The truth of the matter is, however, that it is very unlikely that a non-believer would ever try out any fellowship alone without being brought along by a friend, and I'm sure that mostly every CCF member has friends who are not Chinese, be it classmates, housemates, or high school acquaintances.

Wow, it'll never cease to amaze me just how much writing helps me to articulate the jumble of thoughts that float around inside my head! =P Blessings

2004-04-22T18:10:00.000-04:00

Ugh!

That would about summarize what I'm feeling right now. Last weekend at Victoria's was so fun. Then Mom came and we had a great time (minus the hockey game, but we were in Mamma Mia so it made up for the slaughter). By the way, Mamma Mia is sooo good! Anyways, on Tuesday or so, I started feeling my energy leave. Then came the sore throat. Then came the sniffles extreme. And now, here I am at home trying to get better in time for the retreat tomorrow. My head feels like it's going to explode. I have no balance, and I feel like I'm going to fall over every time I get up. I know how important this retreat is, and I really really don't want to miss it. If I'm still feeling like this though, I don't think anybody will want me around (nor would I want to be around anybody). Anyways, prayers for the return of good health, God willing, and that I maintain a God-centered vs. "wallowing in self-pity" attitude would be greatly appreciated. I hope that anybody reading this doesn't get what I have. Good health to you all!

2004-04-16T12:09:00.000-04:00

Switchfoot!!!

Couldn't write yesterday because I was really busy (and praise the Lord above that I don't need to buy a new computer! Phewf!), so I didn't have a chance to write about the awesome concert that Victoria and I went to see on Wednesday evening. We went to see Switchfoot at Kool Haus here in Toronto and it was so awesome! I had never been to something like that before. When we first walked in, it felt like my old school gymnasium at a dance or something (with a bar, as Victoria added). When the opening band was playing, everybody was just sort of standing around watching them, and I thought to myself, "They're pretty good... but why is everybody so still?" Then when Switchfoot finally came on at 9 pm, everybody started screaming and the excitement level of the whole place escalated. Victoria and I had a little bet (with no prize) on what they were going to open with. We were both wrong LOL! They opened with 'Dare You to Move', which I previously thought wasn't energetic enough that they would open with it, but it proved to be perfect. As soon as they played 'Ammunition', everybody started jumping up and down and stuff. It was really fun. There was some moshing and body surfing, but we were a couple of rows behind it. I would never trust people to care about me enough to care about dropping me. John Foreman from Switchfoot actually body-surfed twice and sang at the same time. I suppose that when you're the lead singer of the band, you don't have to worry about being dropped! =P

They closed with 'Meant to Live', and then sang 'Gone' as their encore. We didn't have a chance to get an autograph as Victoria and I both had to get up in the morning for work, but I must say that my first concert experience (I exclude my Anne Murray concert as the type of concert I mean) was very positive. Oh and the best part! I bought the CD "The Beautiful Letdown" for only $15 and no tax! Now I can listen to them whenever I want =)

It was amazing to see how much people love them, especially since many of their lyrics have Christian allusions in them. I have to wonder how many people actually stop and think about the lyrics as they sing along to songs on the radio. But then again, don't we as Christians sometimes do the exact same thing in church? Do you know that I've been singing about God's faithfulness for years and didn't truly understand the full meaning of that statement until a couple of months ago? My hope is that when people listent to Switchfoot, that they will be engaged in wondering what the meaning of lyrics such as "one world, on desperation, one hope and one salvation", "I've got my hands at Redemption's side, whose scars are bigger than these doubts of mine", and "everything inside screams for second life". Thank God for a band that has made it mainstream that doesn't sing about girls, crime, sex, and drugs. Let us fill our heads with things that are pure so that our thoughts may be pure as well... gee, that Paul was a smart guy!

2004-04-10T10:25:00.000-04:00

This past week has been like an emotional roller-coaster. I can't say it was all that enjoyable, but I had to keep going to God and submitting myself to whatever lessons He's trying to teach me. I won't delve into details, but things with work aren't going my way. We've started some new assays, and mine never work... just like usual. Mine always seem to take longer to work than other people. I am slow in the lab... always have been, ever since grade 7. I'm really glad once again that I have made the decision not to go into research. It's just far too stressful for me. I feel like a puzzle piece that doesn't quite fit into the puzzle. All the same, I am so thankful of what I've learned. There was more to the week as well, but everything was compounded by the fact that I got to go home on Thursday afternoon (yay! I'm in Ottawa!) It made the week go by SO SLOW! I heard myself utter the phrase "I just wanna go home!" at least a dozen times since Monday.

One time, we were having computer troubles at Sick Kids Hospital (we were using one of their fancy robots) and Bart and Karen and I spent over an hour trying to get a file to work. Finally, Bart said, "Ah, just go home!" I perked up and said, "home!?" Karen laughed and said, "Bart, you better watch what you say, because she'll be on a bus to Ottawa within the hour!" And it's true... I would have been.

But now I'm home and things are much better. It's nice to be in my own house, with my own parents, spending time with my friends that I haven't seen for so long. I'm also getting my head ready for the term that awaits me once I go back to Waterloo. I have to admit that I'm afraid... but not to the point that I'm not excited as well. Next semester is full of 29 class hours, 12 of them lab. I have physics again, which isn't my strongest point, and another Analytical chem lab (this one is 6 hours long). For those of you who hung around me last term, you would know that the analytical lab made me question my entire vocation. That isn't much to look forward to. But I will also be serving on CCF committee. I couldn't think of a better way to spend my time. I am very much looking forward to everything about it... even the time trials, because I know that God will carry me through and me my strength.. and He'll find me a friend that's good at physics to help me! =D

My parents took me to see "The Passion of the Christ" yesterday. How could I possibly be worried over so many trivial things in life after this brutal and shocking reminder of what my Lord and Saviour went though on my behalf. As I watched his body being scourged, I could barely contain my grief. "For me!? For me!?" Every lash, every drop of blood spilled... I may as well been the one with the whip, one jeering in the crowd, one of the accusers. It's easy to start to be angry and bitter towards the people who persecuted Jesus, but they weren't really responsible for His death. He allowed it, and He allowed it because He loves me that much. I think as Christians, we often minimalize the incredible sacrifice that He did on our behalf. I am so thankful for this reminder of two things... of my own evil nature and how I hurt God with my own sin, and then of God's fathomless love... who would descend onto Earth to save the very people who hurt him, who laugh at him, who spit in his face, who put him to death. I don't think I could have ever done for Jesus what He did for me... I am far too selfish for that, and far too afraid. But I hope that in life, I can lay it down for Him. It is the least I can do when confronted with such a love as this. Thank you so much Jesus.

2004-04-01T12:20:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was a day to remember...

I got the opportunity to go to see a live taping of Royal Canadian Air Farce at CBC with my co-workers... and for free! ^_^ It was really fun. Something out of the ordinary of course, but it seemed almost like a bit of a dream since I've been watching Air Farce on TV since I was about 9 years old (though I haven't watched TV much in a couple of years). My 9-year-old self would have never imagined that I would ever get to be three feet away from the people who have kept me entertained for so many years. The show was also great since the cast and the "ground crew" (two musicians who sang really funny songs) really catered well to the audience. You didn't feel snubbed or anything of the sort. A truly enjoyable experience all around. I took a few pictures and will post them when they are developed.

Do you ever "people-watch"? You know, you're sitting in a coffee shop and watch people walking their dogs, or parking their cars, or jogging down the street, or pushing strollers. I really think it's a neat sort of past-time because in that moment in time, those people have become part of your world, but it is likely that they don't know you exist. It is also possible that they have watched you at an earlier time, or will further in the future. To me, when I stop to think about this, it makes the world seem so big. We are often so preoccupied with our own little worlds, circle of friends, problems and work or school that we take little time to reflect on the "world at large"... if you've never done it, try it! People watching... with a new perspective!

I'm hungry... Goodbye!

2004-03-27T17:53:00.000-05:00

Well, I don't think that there's any easy way to say this...

I just found out that my friend Jenny's boyfriend (both from UW) died from a long battle with cancer early Thursday morning. Jenny said that he's been in a lot of pain over the last few months, and that now he is finally without his pain. It is so hard to understand. I have never met Vince Fazari, but he has been on my prayer list for months now. After seeing Dr. Yonggi-Cho at Missionfest, I was sure that he would be healed. After all, all it takes is faith, right? I can't answer the question of why some people are allotted so little time in life. It breaks my heart. But I take comfort is knowing that one day I will meet Vince, when I go to meet our Heavenly Father face to face.

Please pray for Jenny and Vince's family. I would like to pray as well...

Dear Heavenly Father,
Your timing is a hard thing to understand. It seems like my life is so easy, while other people are literally fighting for their lives. I thank you Lord Jesus that Vince held true to his faith, that he let you walk beside him. I know that you know every fear and every emotion he was going through, and that you Jesus, were there every single second. As those he has left behind start to deal with their grief, may your Holy Spirit bring peace into their hearts. Lord, comfort their aching souls. May they look to you, Lord, and be embraced by love instead of bitterness. I thank you Lord for the life of Vince. Thank you for his undying courage. May we be inspired by his words:

"The cancer cannot defeat me.
All it can possibly do is kill me,
But it shall not defeat me."

Your presence on all the hurt, wounded, and weary of heart.
Amen

2004-03-26T12:50:00.000-05:00

A little random thought...

So I was in the lab and a lady asked me to get her something from the top shelf because she couldn't reach. Of course, I reached up, no problem, took it down and gave it to her. At that moment, God taught me a quick little lesson. I'm pretty tall for a girl... I thought I was average height when I lived in Ottawa, but my girl friends in Waterloo (for the most part) are at least 4 inches shorter than me. It didn't take long before I started wishing I was shorter too. I stuck out in all of the pictures. I feel awkward standing in front of people to sing and stuff because I know I'm a better door than a window! =P In any case, I was starting to begrudge my height.

I remember in Purpose Driven Life that it said that God has made every detail of our bodies to incorporate His purpose for our lives. I never really figured my height into this equation, but I now realize that it is very simple. God has made me (relatively tall) to help serve other people. It seems very trivial, but because I could reach that shelf, it saved that lady time and effort. My mom asks me all the time to get stuff from the top shelf. It used to annoy me. After all, how hard is it to pull up a chair? The truth is, it's a helpful act that can show love to other people. And so, Jesus has changed my attitude towards my height. Yes, I'll still stick out in pictures, but I can also view it as a gift to other people.

Back to yummy stir-fry and pad Thai!

2004-03-24T17:16:00.000-05:00

Grad dinners and family and movies, oh my!

Life has been busy the past week. The busy-ness started on Friday, the beginning of my wonderful visit with Mom and Dad. I hadn't seen them since January 4th. Dad walked into the lab about 3 pm, a whole hour early! I was so excited that I spilled agar all over the bench, but that's okay! When I got off work at 4:30, my parents picked me up and then we went for dinner to Spring Rolls on Yonge Street. It was a long day for them, as they stayed up until almost 4 am talking with Annie. I went to bed around 1 pm.

On Saturday, we just went driving around Toronto. We decided against a day out and about since it was raining. That night, Annie held a dinner party with the Cusack family. It was really fun. There were lots of laughs.

The weekend flew by so quickly, I couldn't believe that they were leaving just after breakfast on Sunday morning. We all hopped into the car together, and Dad dropped me off at the Greyhound station, where I caught the bus to Waterloo for Grad dinner and stayed overnight with my Dawn Dawn! (Thanks so much!)

Grad dinner was really nice. I saw a few people I haven't seen in ages. As much as I've been looking forward to grad dinner, it was a little tough as well. I didn't get to share since it was cut short, but to any graduate reading this, my prayers are with you, that God will lead you to do what He is blessing, and you will be filled with His vision and passion for your life and ministry.

Last night, Karen and I went to see Mystic River. It was a fantastic film... very intense, lots of emotion. Unfortunately, it was also a little heavy on the language, but I don't think that the language was gratuitous. To me, it was a movie about humanity. It makes you think about thinking before you act....

Anyways, I'm off to a seminar tonight (with free pizza! hehehe) Perhaps I will have something deeper to say soon... for now, my head is a bit tired from all this excitement! Toodles ^_^

2004-03-17T20:02:00.000-05:00

Less than two days until Mom and Dad will be here! I'm so excited! I haven't been this excited for anything in a long time. It's been almost three months since I've seen them, and so it will be a wonderful time. It's also the first time they've come up to visit me since I moved away from home to go to uni. So it's very special to me =)

CCF grad dinner is also on Sunday night. I am going to make the trek, though I'm not sure how I'm going to work out the way back. I am thinking of either asking somebody if I can stay over and then bus it back to T.O. or see if anybody will be driving to Toronto that night. It's a bit of a pinch though because my enrollment appointment is Monday at 10 am, and I don't want to chance not getting into my chosen time-slots. I suppose as far as that goes, it is just better for me to trust that if God wills that I get my time-slots, then I will, and if not, it will be a blessing in disguise.

Anyways, not much going on inside my head today =P I think that I am going to sleep very well tonight. I am also enjoying reading through The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis. The style in which these stories were written is quite strikingly different when compared to his other writings, like Mere Christianity for example. I am having fun looking for symbolism though. The way in which he writes is so conversational that it is almost like I am sitting listening to him telling me a story, face to face, as I read. Quite interesting. I enjoy very much when authors engage their audiences in that fashion. It is not always, however, an appropriate style for all forms of literature.

Time to say goodnight... goodnight! (And God bless)

2004-03-14T13:41:00.000-05:00

I can't believe it's snowing... again!

I just spent a lovely weekend with dearest Victoria at Missionfest. We went to see the key-note speaker, Dr. Yonggi-Cho, on Friday night, followed by a gathering with Victoria's MCBC fellowship at Allen's apartment by the sky-dome. I had so much fun, and I'm so thankful for Victoria having me along. It felt so much like time spent after CCF meetings that it made me want to hop on a bus for Waterloo right there and then! Everybody was so welcoming, and we had a great time, playing BomberMan, speed Scrabble, big Two, and just chilling and talking about what we learned that night.

The next day was full of seminars and looking around at the exhibits. Everything was very informative, and my mind has been pried open to see some new perspectives. I was also very excited when I found that there are Christian universities that offer teacher's college. One that I am particularly interested in is called Liberty University, in Virginia. For just one year, I would walk out with a Master's of Education, which would be completely transferable to teach anywhere in Canada, and the price was almost the same as what I pay for Waterloo. Exciting opportunities are out there!

One thing that Dr. Yonggi-Cho said was that "the Lamb" is the answer to all our problems. I've always "known" this, but I think that I only applied this fact to spiritual matters. Dr. Yonggi-Cho blew down that belief, and presented his suggestion that Jesus meant that this also applies to our more immediate needs as well. He drew upon the story of the Exodus. I never thought about this, but moving a nation of three million people would not be easy, especially since there were elderly people, sick people, invalids. But the Bible says that there were no invalids among them. Surely, with how they were treated by the Egyptians, many would have been invalid before the Passover, but something about the Lamb transformed them. The Lamb nowadays, of course, is Jesus Christ.

Dr. Yonggi-Cho also presented us with a sort of challenge. He said that we can choose faith, or we can choose fear. Now fear is something that I have always struggled with. I suppose it is something that everybody struggles with, but I have been held captive of many fears for my whole life. I have never considered fear to be the opposite of faith though, and faith being a choice and not a feeling, this would imply that if you choose faith, you do not choose fear. And vice versa, if you choose fear, you have rejected faith. Then he asked us, "Will you choose fear, or will you choose faith?" I sat frozen in my seat as I thought, "Who in their right mind would choose fear when the alternative is faith?" At that moment, I felt liberated from all the things that have held me prisoner for so long. I know, however, that like any journey, taking the first step on a journey of faith does not mean that you will never lose your footing. As Mrs. Lin used to say, "Music is not instant coffee," and neither is faith. I know that it is something I will have to build on. I will have to continually trust, and continually strive to stay on the path. But I ask you again, who in their right mind would choose fear over faith? That person used to be me, but not anymore.

2004-03-09T19:13:00.000-05:00

Oy veh! I need a crash course in html! I'm fishing through this code trying to find out how to make my side-bar font smaller... but at the same time this is really fun. I am truly a person who thrives on novelty.

Novelty is a great thing. It can a wonderful source of motivation, to get up and go. It can also be the perfect pick-me-up when you're feeling low. I think that God even sometimes uses novelty to fire us back up with His passion.

But I think that the love of novelty can be dangerous. It can make you get bored of things too quickly, and not finish what you started, like a call from God. I read about a leadership style in "Courageous Leadership" by Bill Hybels that described a person who loves starting up new ministries, but then once they're established, hops onto a new one. The positive side of such a leader is that they have lots of creative ideas. The down-side though, is obvious. What you can end up with is a whole bunch of under-developed and weak ministries.

With CCF committee elections in our midst, I have been looking at my own leadership qualities. Though I don't believe that I am a 100% "start-up" leader, I think that I have the potential to be one. I tend to become bored and/or disillusioned with things very quickly, and frankly, this is not a quality that I want to develop any further. I pray that God will help me to see things through from start to finish; whether it's school, caring initiatives, work, or callings from God.

I believe that spaghetti is awaiting me! Goodnight ^_^

2004-03-08T15:30:00.000-05:00

Hello one and all! I am officially part of the blogging community! ^_^

This blog is an extension of my own site, Joyful Jangle. I thought that perhaps updating my blog would be a wee-bit less tedious using blogger as opposed to doing it on my own with text boxes and such. If you are interesting in what I've been blogging about since July 2003, just click here =)

I wish I had something more profound to say on this momentous occasion, but I have to run! Check back soon for more fun things that go on inside my head =D

God bless!